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Ian Ording

BedPost: OK to kiss and tell (a select few)

Dear BedPost,How much is too much information to tell your friends about your sex life? I don’t seem to mind gossiping about it to my friends, that’s just kind of how we are. But, my boyfriend is not happy with how much I share. Who’s right?Dear reader,Guilty, party of one. My friends and I, particularly my lifelong friends, are a stereotypically bad episode of Sex and the City, but instead of talking about our sex lives in designer clothes over brunch, it’s usually over beer and pizza or drinking milkshakes in my driveway. If you’re open about sex like I am, your friends and you probably just so happen to have these types of conversations — it’s only natural. But, trust me when I say this; it’s much better to be safe than sorry and have to put your foot in your mouth. It’s one thing to talk about a random hookup to your friends the next morning, it’s a whole other animal to go into great detail about your boyfriend’s member or how good your guy friend who you hooked up with is at the art of sexting. Obviously, it’s completely up to you and your partner how much you share about you doing the dirty. And while you may be totally comfortable talking about this kind of stuff, think about who it concerns. Be respectful of his wishes. You can totally still have dirty talk with your girlfriends, just at a level that you and your partner are comfortable with. You may be the one on the receiving end of these acts, but that doesn’t mean you’re free to shout it from the top of Baker.Although if the sex is that great … feel free to brag to me about it. I’ll keep your secret. You go, Glen Coco.Kristin Salaky is a senior studying journalism and a slot editor at The Post.I get paid to talk about sex. I am the wrong person to ask about this topic. It’s all I do.But if I had to put myself in your shoes — the shoes of a lay person concerned about discussing his or her lays — I’d say it depends on the group you’re with.If you’re with a crew of some of your oldest friends, who you’ve known since elementary days, you probably have the green light to let it rip. Unload your stories with delight and gusto. It’s healthy to share in that arena and really your only chance to do so in any legitimate capacity. Your mom doesn’t want to hear any of it. My mom doesn’t read this column. My mom doesn’t listen to the podcast. There’s good reason for both. Mom’s hate this ish.Coworkers are also a no. Coworkers are creeps. Don’t tell them anything personal. Nothing good has ever come from confiding in a coworker. They are snakes and deviants. Don’t even talk to them about anything. Keep your head down. In fact, quit your job.Casual friends are a gray area; you could probably get away with revealing a little bit, but not every detail, especially if they are shared friends between you and your boo thang. Tell them about the particularly impressive performance he gave after that party on Saturday. Maybe leave out that he’s into getting slapped in the face and called women’s names during sex. That’s a smidge personal.Just think about who you’re talking to and act accordingly. And remember, don’t tell your mom any of it.Ian Ording is a senior studying journalism and Copy Chief of The Post. Want to know how to win a man back? Email him at io312410@ohio.edu.


The Post

Letter: Hands Up Walk Out to protest, show solidarity

About a week ago, three Ohio University students and I traveled to Ferguson, Missouri for protests and rallies orchestrated by Hands Up United. We came back to Athens with many images, conversations and memories burned into our heads. I remember walking through the streets of Ferguson under nightfall as residents stepped out of their homes to join us. I remember chanting at police officers, demanding justice and that they join the right side of history. Most of all, I remember the fire I felt when I realized how much work, and how much anger had to be shown to make one black person’s life matter.That is why we planned #handsupwalkout at 12:01 p.m. on Wednesday, October 22. We are walking out because Mike Brown’s body was left in the street for four and a half hours. We are walking out because John Crawford was gunned down in an Ohio Wal-Mart because he was holding a BB gun and he is gone from his family forever.We are walking out because these injustices happen everywhere and the only way to stop them is to mobilize. We want to live in a society that holds empathy for another human being above the status quo of an unjust system that systematically dehumanizes minorities.When I stood in Keiner Plaza in St. Louis during a rally last Saturday, a woman shouted into the microphone with her fist thrust into the air, “We need to show this country that we do not trust it to keep us safe!” This is the core of the movement for many. By walking out, we are starting on the path towards social justice and shedding ourselves of passivity, which allows for these atrocities to continue. By participating in #handsupwalkout, we stand in solidarity with Ferguson and with one another.Ryant Taylor is a senior studying creative writing.


PostSecret

Post Secret: Long-distance couplings need well-balanced lives

I’ve written about online dating before and how I met my partner via OKCupid. Since he lives in Columbus, we are now in a long-distance relationship.I know a lot of people who are or have been in long-distance relationships while in college. The circumstances of college often allow you to expand your social network beyond just your campus, or perhaps you might be attending college far away from your hometown. Though many people think long-distance relationships are bound to fail, I think in many cases, they can be great learning tools for communication, trust and respect. They’re only doomed to fail if you’re not up for the challenge or mature enough to handle it.As I love lists, here are my tips for making a long-distance relationship work:Communicate … About Everything: Seriously, you need to have prime communication skills in order to make something like this work. Not only do you need to keep your partner in the loop, but also you should establish a communication plan that you can both agree to stick to. Otherwise, it can get easy to become too busy or too obsessed that you focus all of your time and energy in on them. Talk about your level of comfort and coordinate your schedules to figure out what sort of communication styles are going to work the best. If you have at least some privacy, scheduling phone or Skype calls is a great way to stay in touch and hold one another accountable.See Each Other As Often as Possible: Just like you should make time to communicate, you should make time to see each other in person. Obviously, it will depend on how long the distance is between the two of you. There are also the other factors of money and freedom: what are your class and work schedules like? How much does it cost to get to one another and who is going to pay for those expenses? Where are you going to stay when one of you visits? How are you going to eat? What are you going to do together? These are questions you should talk about before visiting.Pursue Other Interests: As hard as it is not to obsess or want to know exactly what the other person is doing, force yourself to step away from the computer. Find hobbies or activities to do on weekends when you’re not together, hang out  with friends or just go for a workout. Having time to miss each other is important, but in order to do that, you can’t be thinking about someone constantly or foregoing activities in order to spend time with them. Have an Endpoint: When entering a long distance relationship, you need to think about the end game. The fact is that if one of you doesn’t move to where the other one is, or you both don’t relocate together, the chances of your relationship making it for the long term are very slim. You’re probably not going to want to have a relationship filled with emails and Facetime forever, so you need to figure out what the end is going to look like. That doesn’t mean that if you can’t end up together realistically, you shouldn’t pursue the relationship. It just means you’re going to have to figure out what the end point is. A lot of people think there is no point having a relationship that doesn’t have the potential of forever, but I disagree. You can learn a lot from relationships of all kinds and besides, how many people really stay with their college sweetheart until they’re 80? The bottom line is: long-distance relationships are doable, but like everything else, they won’t work unless you do, too.Erin Fischer is a senior studying women’s and gender studies. Email her at ef102312@ohio.edu.


Jessica Ensley

Lean In Further: Feminists may need to conform

This past weekend I spent time at a conference entitled “Feminists Working Weekend.” When I walked into the high-rise conference room overlooking the Manhattan skyline, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew what a privilege it was for me to be there and that a lot of activists and people who want to help in social change would not have the same opportunity I did. The weekend was dedicated to helping us make financial investments, how to fit into different work environments and figuring out what to do with the rest of our lives. It was much more inclusive than I expected, with speakers that ranged from white, cis-gendered women, to women of color and members of the LGBTQ community.The last presentation was discussing how we can improve our resumes and what feminist employers look for in cover letters. A fellow female attending the conference raised the important question as to why we were learning how to conform ourselves when it’s something we, as feminists, fight so hard against in almost every other aspect of life.Resume and cover letter templates are something everyone must use when applying for jobs. We use these templates to fit into an image that is expected of us. Images that are conformative go against most feminist thoughts and theories. So how can we, as activists who want to go into the professional field to create change, accept this type of conformity? Is playing into the system to attempt to change the system really worth it? These are questions I ask myself frequently. Respectability politics is the concept that one must conform to society’s ideals. Those ideals include wealth, whiteness, maleness, ableness and gender roles. I dislike the idea that we must be like the society that keeps us down. I realize that in order to create change in this society that a platform to speak from is needed. While we can create our own platform (like F--kRapeCulture did) the broad aspect of national and international feminist discussion is furthered through larger organizations.Getting hired is important to simply being able to survive. The focus this past weekend was on feminist positions, but one important lesson I learned was that we can create our own feminist space no matter what work we’re doing. You don’t have to work for a nonprofit or create a grassroots movement to make change (although it’d be cool if we did). Say something when a coworker or boss says something sexist. Let your colleagues know you’re a feminist — if you are one or not, see my past column explaining what feminism means — so that they don’t view feminism as a man-hating movement.I’m still juggling my position between a feminist who wants to take down the system and start a revolution and a feminist who wants to be able to work to feed herself. While I do that, think about the messages we send people when we ask them to state their value on a sheet of paper. Each of us is more than what we present to employers, so what can we do to change the conformist ideals? Because right now, I’m at a loss.Jessica Ensley is a senior studying journalism. Email her at je726810@ohio.edu


The Post

Editorial: Students should support top-notch volleyball team

Ohio’s volleyball team is really, really good.After starting the season 1-3, the team has won 14 of its past 15 games and is 8-0 in conference play for the first time since 2009.That year, the Bobcats made it to the second round of the NCAA Tournament after winning the Mid-American Conference regular season and tournament titles.Ohio has talent throughout its roster, as Abby Gilleland and Kelly Lamberti are back-to-back MAC players of the year. Others, such as Meredith Ashy and Chelsea Bilger, have received first-team all-conference honors.The team has the ability to go far — not only at the MAC Tournament later this season, but (potentially) at the NCAA Tournament as well.This upcoming weekend, Western Michigan and Northern Illinois come to compete in Athens, and The Convo is sure to host some epic action. Western Michigan is 6-2 in conference play and a contender in the MAC West. The match against Northern Illinois is bound to be the Bobcats’ most important contest so far this season. The Huskies, currently 8-0 in MAC play, occupy first place in the MAC West. Two teams undefeated in conference play facing off in Athens? That’s must-see action, and The Post hopes to see a large turnout from students.Be sure to head over to The Convo to support some of Ohio’s most impressive (and under-appreciated) student-athletes.Editorials represent the majority opinion of The Post’s executive editors.

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