Following what some would call the “normal” steps to dating, courtship is a prominent component. And yet, in today’s age, there appears to be a lack thereof.
Society is in the period that some will call “hookup culture.” But many believe some women, more specifically feminists, are the ones who killed it.
Being a feminist means believing in the equality of men and women. So, while some may think that being chivalrous hinders one’s feminist outlook, it has the opposite effect. To completely understand, there needs to be a revamping of the definition of chivalry and the act of being chivalrous. Rather than just simply being polite, chivalry means respecting a woman’s strength and independence.
Men cannot take the definition of chivalry from many years ago and attempt to apply it to today’s world. They probably will end up getting slapped or dumped. A more modern way of looking at chivalry is just being respectful.
To be courted is nice, because it shows a level of interest and effort that is forgotten in today’s world. Women, or people in general, enjoy when someone is engaged with what they have to say. Talking over someone is blatantly rude, something that should not have to be reiterated to the majority of men.
Also, as a word of advice, it goes a long way when men take the time to care about their appearance. Guys may try to brush it off as trying to impress their female counterpart, and maybe they were, but practicing basic hygiene should part of a daily routine, not just for a date.
There are also the more classic examples of being chivalrous: holding the door open, pulling out her chair, filling up her gas tank for her. Do not do these. It gives the impression that women cannot fend for themselves and are dependent, going back to the older definition of chivalry. It depends on the woman, however, because not every woman is the same. Do not automatically assume that women want these done to them or for them.
Dating today is hard with endless rules. In today’s world of Tinder hookups, being “Mr. Nice Guy” can have its intimidations. This may appear as shocking, but some girls like “Mr. Nice Guy.” Treating a woman with respect never goes out of style. In fact, it is precisely what feminists today are fighting for.
Iana Fields is a freshman studying english creative writing at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Want to talk to Iana? Tweet her @FieldsIana.
