As you re-embark on your college adventure or begin it for the first time, the friends you make will affect your overall experience. College is essentially an adult version of middle school, and instead of pre-puberty awkwardness, you have a weird middle ground of being a “sort of” adult. What connects the two? Finding your place and fitting in at college is eerily similar to doing it in middle school.
Meaningful friendships in college are talked about frequently whether by parents, siblings or even social media. This is your first taste of adulthood, independence and supposedly the best time of your life. With it being most people's first time away from home, the friends you make will replicate that sense of belonging that your hometown does. If I have learned anything in the last two years of college, there is much more to college friendships than I originally thought and some lessons I had to reteach myself about the company I want to keep. Although this is not a how-to guide on making friends, because I truly believe good friends will come into your life in the most unexpected ways, here are some things I have learned so far and am still learning.
It’s welcome week, you’re running around your dorm hall introducing yourself to new people, making plans to go to the dining halls, and feeling like you made true friends. Unfortunately, as amazing as they may be, the friends you make the first week most of the time don’t stick around. While they still may be in your life, it is doubtful you will be as close as you are when you first meet each other in the disgusting (but awesome) dorm rooms. And that’s OK.
One piece of advice when navigating these friendships is to not put pressure on them, if they last then what a gift. If they don’t, know that those friendships were a part of your college story, and it doesn’t make them any more or less valuable than the friendships that will come after. And if the first few weeks don’t include making new friends, that’s OK too; get out of your comfort zone and strike up a conversation. You truly never know who will become your close friend in college.
It’s easy to get lost along the way after the first few exciting weeks of being on OU’s campus. College is filled with questions about what you want to do, who you are and what you want life to be. Embrace this, and with it remember who you are and what you hold close. When it comes to adding new friends into your circle, especially during this weird introduction to adulthood, recognize that people who do not value you are not your friends.
This sounds simple, but it’s important to keep people around who consider you, your feelings and your worth. Friends in college don’t have to be your best friends, those may still be at home, or waiting in the future. But close friends who are worthy of your time, should also know you are worthy, and make you feel loved. If they don’t, then bye. Court Street is waiting, and you don’t have time for those people.
When it comes to Court Street festivities, if you choose to partake, there are friends who you will go out with and friends who will both go out with you and be there for everything else. Both are good, but it’s important to know that not every friend you make in college will do everything with you. Like earlier schooling, you will have class friends, club friends, going-out friends, roommates, the list goes on. That’s the beauty of it. And most importantly, it’s OK if you don’t have this big perfect college friend group. Make your memories, and work on living in your storyline, not attempting to replicate someone else’s.
While you are creating your own college story don’t leave any room for mean people, as they still very much exist. Luckily I have not encountered too many at OU, but cliques, rude behavior and “mean girl” energy still lurk behind new people. Always keep an eye out for how people treat others, as that will truly tell you what their intentions are, and remember that anyone more concerned with how many friends they have instead of the depths of their friendships is probably not someone you want sticking around.
Most of all, while navigating college friendships, know that change is an ever-present force. Friends will change, friend groups will change, and you will outgrow and refit into spaces and with people. Remember to be easy on yourself, and know that everyone who came before you and will come after will experience rocky roads of friendship navigation. The biggest life lesson of all is to take change as a gift, not as a demon and make true friends. The rest will come with time. You are figuring it all out, and you don’t have to know all the answers.
Clara Leder is a junior studying education and journalism at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnist do not reflect those of The Post. What are your thoughts? Let Clara know by emailing her at cl125221@ohio.edu.
