Readers, I am writing this column in the hopes of clearing up some of the large messy ordeal that is Valentine’s Day.
As it is now the day after the holiday of love, I’m guessing some of you are scratching your head at your girlfriend’s rather static response to your oh-so-grand gesture of love. Or perhaps you’re wondering why he was so pissed off, even though he spent a fortune on you, and you failed to produce much more than a generic card.
To answer this, I first want to take a look at the fantastical misconception that all women absolutely live for Feb. 14, and that no matter how much time and thought men put into their gifts, the women will never be happy.
The stereotypical female spends every New Year’s Eve swearing that this will be the year that everything changes; this will be the year that she will find her Prince Charming, and they’ll ride off together into the sunset. That is just not the case.
Although many women do secretly wish they could ”makeover” their love life, few actually spend the time and energy lusting after that and that alone.
We have so many more important things to think about — so many more interesting topics to discuss — which is why when Valentine’s Day rolls around, we are often just as caught off guard as men.
I think it’s rather safe to assume that most women are just as nervous receiving a gift as the men who are presenting it. What if we don’t like the necklace? What if it costs too much? What if he doesn’t like my gift as much?
We’re racked between thoughts of, ”Oh, how sweet, he must really care” and the much more practical, “Wow, this is really expensive. He shouldn’t have spent so much on me.”
Men, here is where I will reveal something that most women are too proud to admit: Despite everything we say, even the most self-assured of us don’t know what we really want.
You could spend hundreds of dollars on a gift, and we will be thinking, “My God, does he think I’m that kind of girl?” Or you could devote hours of your time coming up with the most thoughtful, romantic gesture, after which we will immediately start to wonder, “Does he like me more than I like him? Is this moving too fast?”
In a way, women have given men a sort of catch-22. No matter what route guys take — expensive, cheap, thoughtful or detached — women will never be completely content with the gift they receive.
Our society places way too much importance on the meaning behind such a simple exchange. Since when does one day — one gesture — get to define the way we feel about one another?
I’m not sure, and frankly, I don’t think it ever should. Love should be shown everyday, in the simplest of ways, and should not cost more than the price of a smile.
Some of the most beautiful expressions of love stem from a sort of enchanting naiveté of new relationships. That time period before expectations exist, when it is about what will make the other smile, not what will impress them the most.
Men, I want you to stop pressuring yourself so much to come up with the perfect Valentine’s Day gift. Rest assured, we women won’t know how to react no matter what you give us.
And women, stop placing so much stress on your man and simply tell him what you expect for the day. If he does deviate from that expectation, well, don’t be angry or hold a grudge. Smile and say thank you because most likely the size of his love does not rest solely on the size of the gift you receive on this one day of the year.
Love comes every day, not once a year, so enjoy today, February 15, by treating your significant other to a hot cup of chocolate or a bouquet of daisies. Perhaps it will mean more if they think they’re receiving the gift out of pure devotion, not a Hallmark-fueled obligation.
Rachel Sayers is a freshman studying journalism and a columnist for The Post. Email her at rs289910@ohiou.edu.
