I am in no way, shape, or form an expert in fashion.
However, I’m pretty good at complaining about other people’s outfits, and I like to think that I know what looks good and what doesn’t.
Some days, I step out of my apartment and simply can’t figure out if everyone else on campus avoided mirrors before parading around campus for the day. If they had checked themselves out before leaving the house, I hope that they would’ve changed clothes.
I have noticed some trends in style that I will never understand or embrace ever in my lifetime.
For starters, when ladies wear their ponytails on the tip-top of their heads, I envision a weird morphing of a unicorn’s head on top of a human’s body. I just don’t get what the ponytail placement signifies other than the fact that this hairstyle belongs back with Cindy Lou Who in Whoville.
As far as boys’ hairstyles go, sweatbands and headbands should be reserved for the gym. If you find yourself in the ladies hair care section at the store, then that should probably be a pretty big indication that you’re in the wrong place. I think it just looks silly.
Navigating downward from the hair to the face, we find ourselves eye-to-eye with fake glasses. The concept of wearing fake glasses for something other than a costume baffles me!
Having worn real glasses since sixth grade, I can attest to how annoying it is not being able to see without eyewear. If you have 20/20 vision, I envy you. You shouldn’t be envious of my four eyes.
Along with these individual fashion statements, combination looks confuse me too. For example, in my opinion, socks with sandals are never fashionable!
I may be wrong, but sandals are intended for when you don’t want to be restricted with closed-toe footwear in warmer temperatures. And if it’s warm enough to slip on sandals, then why would you want to trap in heat with socks in the first place? That defeats the purpose, if you ask me.
Sticking with weather-influenced fashion choices, furry boots are winter-appropriate shoes. If it’s 90 degrees and sunny outside, I can’t think of any excuse to be walking around campus in heavily insulted boots.
I imagine those boots don’t smell very good at the end of the day.
It doesn’t help to pair them with a pair of shorts either. Judging by this trend, I think some people might have the seasons confused.
Although in Ohio, I suppose it’s smart to be prepared for any kind of weather.
Maybe these chicks are smarter than I am…
Finally, the ever-debated concept of wearing leggings as pants rears its ugly head once again. I will always argue about legging misuse. The manufacturers of these products did not create them with a thick enough material to use them as pants. If you don’t cover up that bottom, the whole campus gets a nice look at your undergarments.
Not only that, but I don’t think anyone looks good in skintight leggings, and it’s best to just avoid them.
These common fashion blunders are all over campus and I sometimes wish we had a fashion police team to flush out the faux pas.
But alas, we do not, so the power is left in my wielded pen and typing fingers to point them out in my opinionated, booming syntax.
Perhaps I missed my calling as a fashionista.
Tanya Parker is a junior studying broadcast journalism and a columnist for The Post. Email her at tp259509@ohiou.edu.
