Poised against an office window while writing his memoir, Paws to Paws, there is one Athens city official that is seeking to build the county’s law enforcement from the litter box up.
Pumpkin, the live-in mascot of the Athens County Board of Elections, announced his candidacy for sheriff Wednesday amid a whirlwind of speculation whether the feline would take its long career in politics to the next level.
“Meow, meow, purr,” Pumpkin said while gagging on a fur ball. “HACK.”
Since Pumpkin was too tickled pink to comment on the upcoming race, Lance Brownbear, a self-proclaimed “cat whisperer,” acted as translator for The Pest’s interview with the ginger cat.
“I think he’s saying he wants to use his experience sleeping in the window at the Board of Elections to rebuild the county’s trust in the law,” Brownbear said. “Either that, or he wanted to be scratched behind the ears.”
Not long after Pumpkin announced his intent to run, opposition groups spoke out against the kitty candidate. Dogs Against Leashes, a private firm promoting the rights of canines and free access to affordable chew toys, said a vote for Pumpkin would be a vote for inequality for dogs near and far.
“Woof, woof,” said Wagz, a representative from Dogs Against Leashes. “Bark, bark.”
Wagz’s accompanying “dog whisperer” Raven Sparkles said Wagz has concerns about Pumpkin’s ability to appeal to the public.
“If you think about it, cats have this underhanded mentality that no matter where you are, they’ll be there to ruin everything, and one look can kill you,” Wagz said. “Pumpkin hissed at me when I was walking by the office the other day. I don’t trust that thing.”
Pumpkin’s translator said that Pumpkin is ready and on the prowl for victory.
“He said to break out the champagne,” Hardwood said. “When Pumpkin says he doesn’t mess around, he doesn’t mess around.”
