In an effort to crack down on the underage drinking problem in Athens, city officials announced this week an ordinance that would ban all alcohol and college students from the city limits.
“Let’s just cut to the chase,” Chief Party Combatant Dean Wermer said. “We’ve been leading up to this for a while. With the nuisance party ordinance on the books and the social host ordinance on its way, it was really just a matter of time until we eliminate partying altogether. And the best way to do that is to reinstate Prohibition and kick out everyone in the city under the age of 25.”
When asked how the city would sustain its revenue without students, Wermer said, “I dunno. Fracking?”
