There are very few things I am good at. None of them are important skills to have, either.
Using humor as a defense mechanism, being the closest thing to a real Liz Lemon besides Tina Fey herself, remembering pointless movie quotes and all the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s songs are just some of the skills on the short list of things I truly do well.
But the thing I am best at? Well, that would have to be procrastination.
My editor here at The Post, most of my high school teachers and my mom would agree.
I’m not sure when I started practicing the art of waiting until the last possible minute to do something, but I perfected it in the sixth grade.
I had a project due on Greek mythology the first day back after Christmas Break (I went to Catholic school; I can call it “Christmas Break.”). During the break I would see the materials I needed for the project lying on my bedroom floor and I would always say, “Oh yeah, you have to do that soon.” The problem was I never sat down and did the project.
The day before going back to school, I still hadn’t completed it and had forgotten about it entirely until 11:30 p.m. as I was about to go to sleep.
I ended up staying up until roughly 2:30 a.m. assembling a poster about Greek gods.
Eight years later and I’m still doing this crap. Well, not a poster about Greek mythology, but putting things off until the last possible minute.
Take this column for example: I was asked to write a column for Wednesday’s paper on Sunday afternoon. Did I immediately start writing said column? No, of course not, I still had two days before I had to turn it in.
Now, here I sit writing this thing when I should be sleeping.
The biggest problem is that I know that I do it. I’m not in denial, I know I’m a procrastinator, but I choose to do nothing about it. I’ve been meaning to Google “How to stop procrastinating” for months now, but I just keep putting it off.
Believe me, the humor in that sentence is not lost on me.
Maybe one day I will get my act together and finally stop procrastinating, but in the true style of a procrastinator, why do today what I can put off until tomorrow?
Maria DeVito is a junior studying journalism and a stringer for The Post. Do you procrastinate? Email her (eventually) at md781510@ohiou.edu.
