Tips on how to take risk in the online dating world, but also remain safe.
Online dating is always a really contested subject that everyone seems to have an opinion about; is it safe? Is it healthy? Is it productive? Can it actually give you results? These are only a few of the many questions people have asked about the topic.
I’ve practiced online dating for about a year now and, in fact, it’s where I met my current partner. As an introvert — and someone who isn’t particularly fond of parties, or large social events — I think it’s a great way to meet new people (even if you don’t have a love connection).
If you’ve been thinking about trying your hand at it, I would encourage you to do so! After all, putting yourself out there is always better than staying inside of your shell (a little cheesy but very true).
Not sure how to approach it? Here are my tips:
1) Find a Site and Stick to It:
Figure out what exactly you’re looking for (hook-up partners, dates, a relationship, etc.) and find a site that will suit your needs. For instance, if you’re looking for something serious, Tinder is probably not the best site to use. The more you invest into your profile, the more results you’re going to get. Don’t waste your time trying to manage three different profiles. Also, decide if you’re willing to pay for a dating service and narrow your search to either free or paid sites.
I initially joined OKCupid, and after a few months with nothing more than few assholes, I tried eHarmony. It was terrible, and I had even worse luck there; none of the matches were interesting! Take it from me; paid services are not always better.
Some sites to check out that generally have good reviews are OKCupid (where I ended up meeting my partner), Match.com and Plenty of Fish.
2) Be Safe and Smart:
Safety is an issue that often comes up with online dating. Honestly though, there are dangerous people you could date that you met in person, so I wouldn’t buy into this stereotype too much.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be cautious. When you’re going to meet for the first time, make sure it’s in public and — ideally — tell someone you trust where you’re going to be. Set up a system so that if you haven’t checked in with them by a certain time, they’ll know you’re in a bad position. Never meet someone for the first time in private.
I would advise you to plan your date ahead of time, and plan escape routes. If they’re local, meeting for coffee is a good first date idea, since it’s low pressure and is easy to cut short if need be. Agree on a meeting place and time, and decide beforehand how far you want the date to go. It will not only reinforce good communication, but will also leave fewer loose ends to tie up during the date.
Also, be prepared. A lot of first dates are awkward to begin with, and when you’ve never seen each other in person, this can often be amplified. Look over their profile and ask about things you have in common or are curious about, have a few conversation topics in mind, and even offer up some information about yourself. This is a date though and not an interview so don’t go overboard, but it’s best to always be prepared, since many times the ice just needs to be broken.
3) … But Also, Be Fearless
Take a chance! That’s what dating is all about!
Being nervous is a good thing and can prepare you for a lot of life experiences. Yes, you’ll probably go on some bad dates, but they will only help you learn lessons for your future ones. Mistakes are inevitable and the sooner you accept that your online dating experience won’t be perfect, the better.
