The third episode of The Muppets focuses on its cameos more, but needs to lower Miss Piggy's vanity to a tolerable level.

Late night talk shows are supposed to have a funny host that makes jokes, even ones about him or herself, but lately it seems Miss Piggy is a little more self-absorbed and sensitive than usual.

The show opens with Miss Piggy actually hosting her show. The guest star is Christina Applegate who says she has a surprise. Applegate shows a video of her birthday party where Piggy falls face first into the birthday cake.

Piggy is mortified she showed that on Up Late with Miss Piggy and after the show, she hunts down Applegate and tells her they’re not friends anymore. Applegate doesn’t care much (nor do I), and tells the Swedish Chef, “Go girl, live your truth,” in response to his apparent concern about using bacon — his gibberish was quite frantic. 

Piggy’s personality fits more into a daytime TV star than anything related to late night TV. The show boasts Piggy, the only female host on a late night time slot, but she isn’t the sassy, femme pig we’re used to — she’s whiney and uptight about everything. Why are they making her out to be the character who has a problem with everything? 

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Kermit is avoiding Fozzie ever since he turned in a sketch to Kermit for the show. We don’t hear much of it, but it’s apparently terrible. So much so that Kermit does his confessional in the dark to avoid Fozzie. It doesn’t work.

Rowlf makes his first appearance with Kermit and Fozzie at a pub, but he’s not playing the piano, which was disappointing. Kermit makes a flat joke about pumpkin spice in his beer and Fozzie keeps pressing him about the sketch.

As Kermit tries to be honest, Fozzie puts words in Kermit’s mouth about it being good, and Kermit agrees just because it’s easier. But then Kermit digs himself into a hole and says it’s too good for the show and that it should be a movie. Fozzie has been and always will be a terrible comedian. This isn’t anything new. Why it is so hard to give Fozzie constructive criticism is beyond me. Statler and Waldorf could do it.

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On the next show, Fozzie announces that he is going to leave the show to write a movie, and it’s all thanks to Kermit. Miss Piggy doesn’t care at all since she’s plotting revenge on Applegate and how the world saw her with icing in her “piggy parts.”

Kermit calls Fozzie who’s on the road living the "#writerslife." Kermit reasons that he owes Fozzie the truth, and Fozzie is pretty mad. The bear decides to start living off the grid, but before Kermit even has to ask where Fozzie is, he overhears the GPS announcing Fozzie’s location over the phone.

In the writer’s room, a weird IT guy named Chip shows up (and keeps showing up throughout the episode) and starts hacking into Gonzo’s dating profile. Chip is a human puppet, which is the creepiest thing next to Chucky. The Muppets lack that (sort of).

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Chip discovers that Gonzo is messaging someone named Debbie but is using a picture of Liam Hemsworth as his profile. Gonzo hopes Debbie will fall in love with his personality and they’ll just laugh about the whole fake picture thing. Um, OK.

The show replaces Fozzie with Nick Offerman, and I’m OK with it. Like, really OK with that. Kermit thanks Offerman in front of the crew, saying he owes him one. Immediately, Offerman cashes in that favor for a cappuccino machine — "the big brass kind with an eagle on top usually owned by Italians."

Kermit says he might have to cut people’s health benefits for it, but can buy it.

Later Offerman says he was wrong in wasting his favor on a coffee maker and wants to trade it in on a boat instead. He says he’ll name the boat “Cappuccino” so he has the best of both worlds.

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In a confessional, Fozzie is in the woods saying that he wants to connect himself with nature as a bear for his movie, but as he says that his tent blows away. Kermit later finds him trying to hop in a bear bag, which is a camping technique used to store and protect food from bears. The campers shoot him with a tranquilizer gun. Fozzie is loopy and thinks he’s dead, but is still coherent enough to understand that Kermit is putting his sketch on the air. He misses Fozzie at work and the guilt is pretty heavy. 

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All of a sudden Liam Hemsworth shows up at this restaurant with Gonzo, Rizzo the Rat and Pepe the King Prawn. Hemsworth is supposed to have a date with Debbie and then swiftly asks if she would like him even if he wasn’t “gorgeous since birth.” If she says yes, then Gonzo would swoop in and take over.

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Debbie is another human puppet and it’s awful. Keep it in the Muppet family please. But instead of, as Hemsworth would put it, “grab a drink with elephant beaver” over there, he admits to Debbie that she is the first person in a really long time that isn’t into his looks. He picks up Debbie instead, and they leave.

I enjoyed Hemsworth, and his interaction with the writers. The concept of him being there was so unexpected that it was weird enough to work in the episode’s favor.

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Piggy can’t find any embarrassing videos of Applegate so she decides to make her own by forcing Scooter to knock on Applegate’s door and shove a cake in her face while Piggy films from the street. Applegate sees what’s up and doesn’t want Scooter to get fired, so she shoves her face in the cake. A Beverly Hills police officer sees Piggy and arrests her while Scooter goes inside Applegate’s house for coffee.

The biggest cliffhanger isn’t if Piggy gets bailed out of jail, but if Offerman ever gets his boat.

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The Muppets airs every Tuesday at 8 p.m. on ABC.

@mmfernandez

mf7361213@ohio.edu

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