If you’re a woman and you have stretch marks, you might wish you could scratch them off your body like I do, but instead, we should try to embrace them.
It is a hard concept for many women to grasp, as we are used to looking in the mirror and seeing stretch marks as something wrong with our bodies, something that we need to get rid of. I know I certainly feel this way. Rather than looking in the mirror and thinking stretch marks are something to be ashamed of, we should celebrate them.
About 70% of women have stretch marks, so if you are one of those women, you are certainly not alone. A lot of people discuss stretch marks in relation to being pregnant, but this is frustrating because it creates a stigma if you’re not pregnant but have stretch marks, then you must just be fat.
Any woman, skinny or fat, can have stretch marks. I think we all noticed them on our breasts first as we were teenagers going through puberty. Stretch marks form when the skin stretches or shrinks too quickly, and this rapid change causes the collagen and elastin in your skin to rupture. We need to remember having stretch marks does not automatically mean you’re gaining weight because you can easily get stretch marks from losing weight too.
Stretch marks can start at a young age, which I experienced a little bit, but they really started to affect me in college as I gained more weight. I don’t think I’m overweight, but I definitely don’t love seeing those scars on my body, reminding me every day that I gained weight instead of losing it.
The beauty industry certainly doesn’t help these thoughts. As I look at advertisements or influencers on social media, I wonder why I can’t just be skinny like them. What am I doing wrong? A Yahoo Beauty article stated, “The cosmetics industry thrives on fanning women’s insecurities, convincing us that there is always something to be fixed.” This is true because if I don’t need to “fix” my stretch marks, then why is there a cream promising it will fade away the marks? If you were wondering, it doesn’t work. I’ve tried.
The body positivity movement has helped other women, and I feel less alone because we see thousands of women on social media who look like us, making it feel normal to look the way we do. A Forbes article highlighted a photographer whose mission is to make women feel comfortable in their own skin: “In a world where media and the internet can be so cruel and judgmental, Veronica aims to show women in their true form, help them feel perfect and beautiful exactly as they are, and love their skin.” As much as I love the body positivity movement and want to trick myself into believing this is how I truly feel, I must confess, most days, I still hate my body.
Not only is it hard enough for women to accept their own stretch marks, but having sex with stretch marks might as well be a nightmare. The lights need to be off, and please don’t touch my hips or thighs.
I usually forget about my stretch marks for what seems like only a second when I’m caught up in the moment, but once a man’s hand grazes the bumpy lines on my hip, I cringe. Especially when we’re cuddling afterward, I outright ask them not to touch that area of my body.
This is so awkward, especially when it’s a random hookup, but apparently, I picked nice guys to have a one-night stand with because no guys have ever seemed to care about my stretch marks. In fact, when I say I’m insecure about them (which is embarrassing to say, but I don’t know how else to react), pretty much every guy I’ve ever been with says, “I think you’re beautiful” and “stretch marks are hot.”
Whether a guy actually means this or just says it to get in your pants, I have to admit, it feels good to get the validation. To women, hearing that means something.
It’s interesting the way our minds work because we think our stretch marks are the most noticeable things in the world, visibly raised on our bodies, but other people may not even notice them.
As hard as it is, women need to actively try to imagine our stretch marks as things that mean our body is healthy and working. We’re eating, we’re growing, maybe you’re creating a literal human inside your body or maybe you’re losing weight and your skin just hasn’t caught up. Whatever it may be, stretch marks show our bodies are changing as we change, and we must stop letting them define us.
BedPost is a sex and relationship column that does not reflect the views of The Post.
