Baek Sehee is a South Korean author with a history of mental health issues. She dives deeper into her dysthymia, mild but long-lasting depression, in her memoir “I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki.” Sehee records her therapy appointments with discussions consisting of comparison, self-improvement and how to come up from rock bottom. This memoir also helps readers understand how therapy is conducted in South Korea.
Readers are shown Sehee’s different therapy appointments that were recorded over the span of several weeks. In the prologue, Sehee reveals that she doesn’t know what the right form of depression is. Sehee believes that depression is a spectrum of symptoms and sees herself as not fitting under one diagnosis. Towards the end of the prologue, she reveals her main goal to readers stating, “I’ve realised that revealing my darkness is just as natural a thing to do as revealing my light.”
While Sehee does not explicitly say how therapy works in South Korea, readers can develop an understanding of what treatment she is receiving. There are also many stereotypes surrounding Asian mental health services. One including that Asians do not receive or need therapy. This couldn’t be further from the truth, according to Sehee.
In South Korea, there is a lot of support for mental health. Citizens are provided with universal healthcare, funded by premiums instead of taxes; however, there is no private health insurance. The private sector, the part of the country not under direct government rule, consists of 90% of the country’s mental health services. It is normal to use mental health resources in the private sector. Resources include psychotherapy, group therapy, inpatient wards, etc. In Sehee’s case, she attends appointments with a psychiatrist. This is considered Psychiatry in both South Korea and the U.S. Antidepressants are the most used drug to help with depression in South Korea. Sehee refers to using medication in her memoir but doesn’t specify a certain one.
For Sehee, her dysthymia is the most discussed in these sessions. Her psychiatrist’s validation of these intense emotions can help readers explore their mental health. The diagnosis of dysthymia is not discussed enough. Sehee helps to write about her experience in hopes of encouraging others to seek help. She also emphasizes how mental health is still stigmatized to her, which is relatable to many.
“I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki” sits at an overall 3.24-star rating on Goodreads; however, Sehee receives many negative comments pertaining to her style choices. It does seem to be more of a case study rather than a memoir. Sehee ends the book by saying her life was more of a mess than when she started therapy. It was hard to see her point while reading, but this can be understandable.
Therapy helps and is encouraged by Sehee. Yet, therapy does not cure a whole issue. Therapy is there for guidance and helps develop coping skills in patients. While this could be considered a case study, it is important to note that therapy is different for everyone. There are many mental health services across the U.S. and Sehee’s memoir can help identify different services to utilize.
Overall, “I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbooki,” is not a must-read but is perfect for those looking for a quick memoir for education matters on psychiatry. Ohio University offers a plethora of mental health resources including a suicide hotline, the Survivor Advocacy Program and more. Receiving help is scary but Sehee felt the same way and emphasized how it helped her in the long-term.
Natalie Saddler is a freshman studying journalism. Please note the views expressed in this column do not reflect those of The Post.
