Content warning: the following article discusses sex and mature acts. Proceed appropriately.
“Babygirl” is an erotic thriller starring major Hollywood actors Nicole Kidman and Antonio Banderas. The film features an age-gap affair between a CEO, played by Kidman, and an intern, played by Harris Dickinson. The film displays kinks and the shame that is often put on women for having said kinks/desires, while also exploring power dynamics inside and outside the bedroom.
In the film, Kidman’s character, Romy, is unsatisfied with her sex life with her husband. Enter Dickinson’s character, Samuel, an intern for Romy’s company. Romy is a powerful CEO of a very successful company. It is right to assume that in the film her character would be the dominant one, however in the dominant/submissive kink that is not always true. The dom/sub kink can be viewed in many different ways but, “A common reality behind the kink: many accomplished, strong women (and men) want to turn their brains off and fully submit to the right Dom.” Romy is in control of everything in her day-to-day life, so knowing the reality behind a dom/sub kink, it isn’t surprising that she is willing to relinquish control.
The film does have a questionable workplace relationship, but it never affects the workplace dynamics. Romy never abuses her power, and Samuel never dismisses her power in the workplace just because he has the power in the bedroom. The film explores how being submissive really is for different people. For Romy’s character, it isn’t about being humiliated, but rather finding a sense of freedom in being dominated.
While the movie is very sex-positive at times it also explores the shame that women can feel about having kinks/desires. Masturbation and sex is a very taboo topic for some women. A study by Flo, the period and ovulation tracking app, shows that 25% of young women feel shame about masturbating. Another report found 62% of women fake orgasms in romantic relationships. This could be to protect their partner or themselves from shame.
Romy isn’t exempt from this; she expresses that in her 19-year-long relationship with her husband, she has never had an orgasm with him. It is not because her husband is unattractive, I mean he is played by Hollywood sex symbol Antonio Banderas. Rather, director Halina Reijn said Romy is left unsatisfied because “she doesn't dare to ask for what she wants and needs. Just like all of us women often don't dare.”
Later in the film, Romy tells her husband “I want to be normal. I just want to be what you like. I want to be the woman you like.” The movie makes it clear that Romy’s shame isn’t from external factors, seeing that her husband is a loving man, but rather internalized judgment. By the end of the film, Romy is forgiven for her affair and expresses her desires to her husband and they are accepted.
Women often leave their sexual desires and fantasies unexpressed in the bedroom, for fear of being shamed. However “Babygirl” does a great job at somewhat normalizing desires and fantasies for women in the bedroom. Women should be able to express their kinks and desires without feeling shame. This film allows women to reflect on their sex lives and normalize the conversation around it.
BedPost is a sex and relationship column that does not reflect the views of The Post.
