Where have everyone’s manners gone? I got back on campus about two weeks ago and it’s like everyone decided to forget the basic etiquette they learned back in kindergarten.
I’m going to air out my biggest pet peeves while I’m on campus and share with you ways you can avoid feeling my wrath. If this doesn’t do the trick, then this university needs to step in with a class on some manners, because some of you need a refresher.
1. Slow Walkers
We’ve all experienced the inconvenience of a slow walker on campus in one way or another. Whether it’s people taking their sweet old time, sauntering places with no sense of urgency, icky hand-holding couples who look as though they time out their hugs once they are out of class or the gargantuan friend groups who think the middle of the sidewalk is the best place for a conversation, we’ve all seen it.
Maybe I just walk fast, but we all need to pick up the pace a bit. Have some awareness for the people behind you, we’ve got places to go people. The Pest has covered dealing with slow walkers in a previous article, but my best solution is making your presence known to the slow walker and taking any chance to cut in front when possible. Worst case, I step on the back of your precious Ugg slipper. Walk faster, or that slipper gets it.
2. Walking on the wrong side
I’ve got a pop quiz for you: what side of the road do you drive on in the U.S.? If you said the right-hand side, then you would be correct. Because this is the case, you would think to walk on the right-hand side of the sidewalk too, right? This is the correct way; however, some of you have decided to be super quirky and different, and I will not stand for it.
Walking on the right side keeps the sidewalk traffic flowing nicely. If you decide to take the left side, you are disrupting the flow of traffic. Your friend you walk with from class to class isn’t going to disappear if they walk behind you as opposed to next to you. When I have to sidestep awkwardly into the grass because you are disrupting the flow of traffic, I am most certainly unhappy about it. Take the right side. Or else.
3. People who don’t hold the door open
Hold the door open for the people behind you. Please.
There is maybe nothing I hate more than when I’m on my way to enter Baker University Center, and the person in front of me decides to just slip through the closing door as if they are on a secret mission and the door is suddenly made of lasers.
There are many ways to keep the door open for the person behind you. It is actually quite simple. You could go the gentleman route, and stand to the side with the door open if you have some time to kill. You can patiently wait an extra two seconds and stand in the doorway and hold the door open. Finally, if you’re in a rush, you can even just throw that door open because there is a good chance there is someone behind you.
Lastly, when I hold the door open, say, “Thank you.”
4. Laundry room hoggers
So there’s this really cool app on your phone, it’s called the Timer App. This app is actually super cool because when you have things that take a certain amount of time, you can actually set a timer to know exactly when it is going to be complete. A good example of this would be setting a timer for when your laundry is finished in the washer or dryer.
Now that you know about the super cool Timer App, use it. Please. So when my laundry is sopping wet and is in need of drying, it doesn’t have to sit in the washer for 30 more minutes waiting for some lazy person down the hall who can’t bother to come get their laundry from the dryer. Then my socks get mildewy. I hate mildew. Please let me conduct my Sunday reset in peace.
The Pest is a satirical column and does not reflect the views of The Post.
