You’ve heard the phrase “so bad it’s good,” but at what point is something so bad it’s just bad? It’s easy to like something, we all have a list of our favorite movies or songs. But we often don’t focus on what we dislike.
Researching a review covering the “worst” food in Athens has proven difficult, considering no business owner would list their restaurant as such. Though it was a challenge, I compiled a list based on peer recommendations and google reviews.
Of the 13 listed in the immediate area, five names kept appearing. Plus 1 Pizza, Pizza Cottage, GoodFellas, Speedway and the Fun Barn had all been mentioned multiple times.
Although the Fun Barn and Speedway aren’t restaurants, this reviewer is in search of the truth. None of the pizzas I tried were awful, but there were noticeable differences between their ingredients and preparation. At each location, I ordered my usual, a thin-crust pepperoni pizza, besides GoodFella’s, which only serves thick crust.
When I ordered from Fun Barn, I was not expecting to receive a quality pie. Good thing I didn’t get one. The sauce was so thin and soaked through with grease I could hold one end up and all the cheese would slide off.
The pepperoni seemed like it had been purchased from the clearance section at the grocery store. The few pieces of crust that weren’t covered in oil did actually taste good, with a nice crunch. It was almost cracker-thin, and the firmness helped keep the soupy sauce and toppings from completely falling off.
While the texture of the sauce was off-putting, the flavor was good and had a mild spiciness that was pleasant but not overpowering. Considering I got the pizza from a movie theater with an arcade attached, I can’t say I’m disappointed.
The first thing I noticed when I brought home my Pizza Cottage was the pungent, sour smell of the cheese. The pizza was too greasy, and the pepperoni had a gritty texture that stayed on your tongue even after swallowing.
Similar to Fun Barn, the slice was so greasy that when trying to pick it up one-handed, the cheese and pepperoni slid right off, leaving bread topped with tomato paste.
The crust, however, was too thick to be crispy but too thin and hard to be doughy, straddling the line between acceptable textures. The sauce was cheap and did not have a distinct or noticeable flavor, though it was slightly sweet which I enjoy on a pizza.
If I had ordered this from the Fun Barn I might be pleasantly surprised with it. Unfortunately, this pizza was not from a knock-off Chuck E. Cheese and does not have the same excuse.
Plus 1 also smelled a little sour, though not nearly as strong. The sharpness of the cheese tangled with the smell of the crispy pepperoni and garlicky crust.
GoodFella’s tastes like it had been made hours ago because it probably was. Where some pizzas had the issue of being greasy to the point toppings falling off, the sauce and cheese of a GoodFella’s slice had become baked on like it had been glued on a piece of styrofoam.
Even if a little stale, the food itself tasted good, specifically the toppings. The sauce, however, was bland and did not have much taste, but this was not a huge problem as there was barely half a spoonful.
Speedway pizza was dry and crunchy, which is unsurprising considering it was kept under a heat lamp. The cheese and pepperoni basically fused with the crust, and whatever sauce had been there when it was made had evaporated under the lamp.
It was closer to an open-faced cheese and pepperoni sandwich than pizza. The crust was bland and the pepperonis had an overpowering aftertaste of greasy meat that distracts you from the pizza’s only positive attribute, the cheese. It was milder and less sour than the Pizza Cottage cheese and still had some cheese pull, even if it was several hours old.
When I started this critique, I thought this list would be pretty cut and dry. Places like Fun Barn and Speedway would hover near the bottom, while the three “real” restaurants vied for first.
In reality, the quality between the different locations was not a huge factor in how good it tasted.
As I said, it takes a certain skill to make something so bad it can be called awful, and unfortunately, these pizzas are mediocre at worst.
Matt Dragani is a junior studying journalism at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Want to share your thoughts? Let Matt know by emailing him at md274819@ohio.edu.
