Netflix originals are no stranger to taking on Jewish characters and issues. The most popular of these are Unorthodox (which I hate), Russian Doll (which I love) and the reality show My Unorthodox Life (which I had very mixed feelings about). Netflix is now adding another Jewish reality show — this time a la the very popular show Indian Matchmaking — titled, rather on-the-nose, Jewish Matchmaking.
No release date has been announced yet, but Netflix’s Tudum announced the show will include “singles in the US and Israel as they turn their dating life over to a top Jewish matchmaker.” While I am excited to see what this new show will hold, I can’t help but feel wary about the way it will be received.
The traditional system of Jewish dating, called the “shidduch system,” has been around since Biblical times, with the match of the matriarch Rivkah (Rebecca) and the patriarch Yitzchak (Isaac), and continues in observant Jewish communities and families until this day. The shidduch system is a way of matchmaking that is focused on dating for the purpose of marriage. Sometimes, two people will be set up by a shadchan, a matchmaker, and other times, a couple will be brought together by a family member or a friend.
The tagline for Jewish Matchmaking is “Will using the traditional practice of shidduch help them find their soulmate in today’s world?” making it clear that the show will focus on shidduch as its standard for matchmaking.
While the goal of shidduchim (the Hebrew plural of shidduch) is to find a life partner, the shidduch system has been long misconstrued as archaic and misogynistic, which is why I am so nervous about the reception of Jewish Matchmaking. Viewers may be reminded of some of the disturbing scenes in Unorthodox, which depict the main character, Esty Shapiro, in a marriage that crumbles because of her vaginismus and her husband’s reaction to it.
While the shidduch system is not perfect — no system of finding a partner is — Unorthodox left a lot of secular viewers with the idea that it was inherently bad for women and violent and that the Haredi-Orthodox community as a whole was misogynistic. That, of course, is not the case and is certainly not the case for the shidduch system. The system itself is trustworthy to both the prospective bride and groom, as it relies on both of their wants and preferences in order to find a suitable match as well as includes both person’s family’s opinions.
Whether or not these aspects of traditional Jewish matchmaking will be explicit in the show, I can only guess. Although I do hope that whatever top Jewish matchmaker — who also has not been announced yet — is able to communicate these and dispel any residual conceptions that Unorthodox or other misinformed media may have construed, I still am anxious that viewers may miss the point of Jewish Matchmaking and the shidduch system that it will employ. It may be that some viewers will see this as archaic and chalk Judaism up in its entirety to being a barbaric practice. This was part of the reception to Unorthodox (which is also part of the reason why I hate it) and is a part of antisemitic stereotyping that has become especially prevalent as the world continuously redefines “modern” and uses modernity as an standard of what is acceptable.
On the other hand, I do love a lot of the Netflix reality dating shows like Love is Blind and Too Hot to Handle, and I, like other Jewish young adults, am excited to see a traditional Jewish spin on them. The difference between Jewish Matchmaking and other reality shows will be striking, as the rules of the shidduch system are much more rigid than that of the secular dating world. And while it is still too early to tell exactly what the show will hold, I am confident that Jewish Matchmaking, no matter how flawed it could be or how confused non-Jewish viewers may be, will be an entertaining watch and is something I am definitely looking forward to.
Hadass Galili is a junior studying political science pre-law at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnist do not reflect those of The Post. Do you agree? Tell Hadass by tweeting her at @HadassGalili.
