Gen Z’s average attention span at a given time is eight seconds. This is encapsulated in our latest favorite social media site, TikTok, an app that plays short videos to keep you constantly moving onto the next thing. Our attention span moves as fast as we can scroll through our phone or search up something new.
Maybe it’s why hook-up culture is so prevalent; one and done, on to the next thing, and it’s never quite the same. A love-life that constantly moves forward onto something new is one that never gets stagnant.
As our BedPost writer last week emphasized, sometimes relationships are more than they’re cracked up to be, at least in the area of sex. Developing intimacy with a person (or multiple people if that’s more your speed) can be extremely rewarding, but it’s sustaining that intimacy that intimidates people. What if sex becomes stale? What if I lose the spark for my partner? What if the years I’ve spent with this person goes to waste?
All of these are valid questions, but never fear, there are plenty of ways to keep the spark alive in your long-term relationship.
First, don’t underestimate the power of an emotional connection. Long-term relationships objectively (at least, in my opinion) have the advantage of forging a unique bond between the parties involved. You know your partner inside and out– all their favorite foods, songs, movies, and sex positions. You explore their fears and doubts, while also learning what they love. There is simply nothing like pleasuring your romantic partner.
Second, don’t base the status of your relationship all around sex. Sure, a healthy sex life satisfies plenty of people; it’s a thrill to fulfill your partner’s needs sexually. But, sex isn’t what solely makes up a relationships. If there’s a few weeks or months where you feel like your needs aren’t being met sexually, this does not spell doom. As you and your partner grow and change, reach new levels together, obviously aspects in your relationship will too. The trick is to be flexible and communicate; maybe there’s a month where you’re just not feeling oral, or doggy style just isn’t cutting it. Communicate! You and your partner are on the same team, both wanting something healthy and fulfilling.
Finally, be flexible– you never know when the opportunity for something fun may strike. Sometimes the sex that may reignite that spark might happen in the backyard. It might happen after you make a delicious dinner together. It may happen after four hours of boring homework. If the moment isn’t right, it isn’t right. But don’t shut out any possibility for some fun just because the setting seems mundane, or it was a busy day!
Overall, don’t be scared of a long-term relationship because it seems like work. It is work, but great things can come out of it. These tips are not exhaustive, and certain things may or may not work out. With proper communication, research, and effort, fulfilling relationships are certainly not a thing of the past.
BedPost is a relationship column that does not reflect the views of The Post.
