Halloween is the perfect season for binging horror flicks, but not every film can be a classic. If 2021’s horrors have sapped your motivation to be frightened, here are five horrendous takes on the classic Frankenstein mythos that just couldn’t bring to life what made the original so iconic. You’ll scream, you’ll cry, but you’ll mostly cry.
5. Frankenstein: Day of the beast
Day of the Beast strips Frankenstein’s creature of all humanity and reworks him into a slasher villain who murders those unlucky enough to be trapped on an island one by one. To the film’s credit, it’s doing its best, but the poor special effects and bad acting will leave you laughing more than crying out in fear.
4. Frankenstein (2004)
Originally meant as a pilot for a potential series, Frankenstein takes place in the modern day where Victor creates an army of unstable creations to infiltrate society and eventually take over the world. The film spends its time setting up a series that never happened, likely because of the poor acting and convoluted plot. Maybe that’s why Dean Koontz left the project to bring his vision to life via his book series?
3. Frankenstein Unbound
Based on the vastly superior novel of the same name, Frankenstein Unbound follows Doctor Buchanan, who is transported from the year 2031 back in time to Frankenstein’s day with his talking car. The critique on human advancement and hubris Brian Aldiss pushed forward in his novel is lost in the ensuing chaos, leaving the audience wondering how we went from time travel to watching an old man make out with Mary Shelley to what looks like laser tag taken too far.
2. Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter
With a title like that, you know what you’re in for. Imagine the most cliché of Western tropes being mashed with the most tiresome of B-rated horror flicks, and you have Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter. Apparently, Frankenstein had a granddaughter (the title lies!) who moved out west to harness the power of prairie lightning storms and experiment on immigrant children. Considering it was filmed in eight days, don’t expect a masterpiece.
1. Sharkenstein
Remember Sharknado? Well here’s Sharkenstein, a mockbuster of the classic 2013 disaster film. When a Nazi (or rather a man faking a German accent) places the heart and brain of Frankenstein’s creature into a mismatch of sharks, the poorly edited creature goes on a murder spree that only gets worse when he’s struck by lightning and grows limbs to terrorize the land.
To the film’s credit, it fully embraces the “B movie” genre. The effects are horrendous, and the acting and plot are laughable, but the sheer insanity makes it the most enjoyable on the list, if ironically.
Charlene Pepiot is a senior studying English at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Want to talk more about it? Let Charlene know by emailing her, cp872117@ohio.edu.
