Sex in college is a constant string of disappointing blowjobs, men refusing to go down on their women and arguments about condoms. Luckily, I have discovered that there is an underdog that allows partners to enjoy sex again.
The hand job has been discounted because it takes practice to master.
News flash: if you think it’s hot, they will get off. It is all mental. Sometimes your man would like to give up control while you get to watch him enjoy himself. Even better, great hand-play can greatly reduce the pressure to put out because he can sit back and melt into the experience. Revisiting the hand job post-deflowering can spice up the bedroom because they aren’t so over-hyped and coveted. If you are burnt-out on the BJ, you can let your hands do the work while talking dirty to drive your partner wild. Confidence is absolutely everything. You can go fast or slow but make sure to get to know his piece. The goal of this is for him to think you live and die for him and his schlong.
Maybe the best part of the hand job is the gratitude afterwards. When you give a great one, they will tell you. “I haven’t had a hand job in forever” and “that was amazing” will be music to your ears because who doesn’t love compliments about their abilities? My reunion with the hand job can be attributed to my laziness because after 10 minutes it can be boring or difficult to stay interested in the basic BJ. But what really got my attention was the Barstool Sports podcast “Call Her Daddy” where hosts Alexandra Cooper and Sophia Franklyn taught me about the Gluck Gluck 9000. This move incorporates two hands and a mouth to create the handy-BJ masterpiece that will keep your partner coming back to you, sometimes without any intentions of having intercourse. The Gluck Gluck is not always necessary, but the hand job allows one to get to know their partners manhood without the dreaded head pushing.
The blow job should still work its way into sex, but when you keep the handy on the table you give yourself a break for both of you to relax. The hand-job has been forgotten because men believe that they can do it themselves, but they can also cook themselves dinner and some still act like it is a woman's job. Sex can get repetitive when partners get bogged down in the usual routine. If your partner doesn’t like to go down on you, maybe hand-play can remind your anti-fellatio partner the power at hand. A word of caution though: beware of the nails, they are the teeth of the hands, keep the claws retracted. Sex is not meant to be one sided, don’t worry about pleasing your partner get in the way of your own pleasure. Enjoy each other and don’t forget the lube.
Abbie Zehentbauer is a junior studying English at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. What do you think? Let Abbie know by emailing her at az455315@ohio.edu.
