Breakups suck big time. They’re messy, full of all kinds of emotions and are just not fun. Sometimes, it gets even worse when you have to watch a friend go through one, someone that you love and care about. I suppose no one thinks about having a perfect breakup when starting to date a new person for the first time. But a “good” breakup would consist of both people coming to a mutual agreement that they have grown apart from each other and would like to move on. That’s peaceful and easy but unfortunately, that’s not always the case when it comes to a breakup. So how do we help a friend through this confusing and painful time?
Let them vent, cry it out and just let all of the emotions go. This way you get it all done at once and it makes the moving on process much easier. Get their favorite movie and some snacks and have a heart-to-heart with them. They need to know that you will always be there for them no matter what and that they aren’t going to go through this alone.
After the tears are shed let them know it isn't the end of the world. Tell them that while you understand the heartbreak, this isn't the only love they'll ever find, but it certainly sucks. And it's OK to set your foot down too. You have to set a boundary of letting them know they can't use you as an emotional crutch as that could become emotionally taxing for you as well. This doesn't mean stop comforting them, they still need someone to be with them but just don’t hold their hand the whole time because that won’t do either of you any good.
Invite your friend out and just have some fun with them. Go shopping, try a new place to eat or listen to some new music together, do whatever to get their mind off of the separation that they’re feeling. Doing fun and new things will create new memories for the both of you and they will hopefully be thinking about your new memories instead of their old ones. During this time help them to stay away from social media, stalking their ex and posting vague messages for everyone to see. Also, no burning their stuff and posting it, if they have to do it then let them just don’t post it. This looks childish and crazy and you can’t let them become the crazy ex, it’s not cute and could potentially scare away others from wanting to date them.
After all of this the best thing you can help them do is to start fresh. Help them to grow into someone new, help them turn the pain into something positive. They need to heal and move on in a healthy way and all they need is a friend. Just make sure to be there and be the best friend that you can be and show them that there is more to life than just this. Tell them that they will get through this and you’ll be by their side through it all.
Rachel Laher is an undecided freshman studying at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Want to talk to Rachel? Email her rl218617@ohio.edu.
