Going home during winter break can be a stressful time for a variety of reasons from Aunt Martha’s views on trans folks to “Cousin So & So’s” highly problematic jokes to just settling back into a community you have been away from for a few months. Making things slightly more complicated are the religious undertones and overtones of December and January, whether or not you practice religion and spirituality yourself. Many LGBTQ folks are going back to communities that they may not be out in and/or recently came out to.
As a center staff with help from our volunteers, we compiled a list of tips on how to get through this stressful time. By no means is this an exhaustive list but a starting point for surviving winter break and/or making sure that the holidays are queertastically holigay!
1. Allowing time by yourself to recharge even if you're with your family/friends and understanding that it's necessary not selfish to sit out on an activity or two if you need to have “me time.”
2. Given the dynamics of our home communities or communities we will be living in, winter break can be a lonely time. Make sure to have friends, allies, accomplices, chosen family and relatives who whole heartedly celebrate all of you on standby and on speed-dial. Social media is a great way to have an outlet to rant if things are rough and you need solidarity or share all the yays if things are great.
3. It is your right whether to share your story and truth; you do not owe others information about your life or are obligated to come out if you don’t want to. You share as much or as little as you are comfortable with. There are different levels to being out and only because you are out to a few folks doesn’t mean you have to be out to everyone. Own your truth and awesomeness and share as you are comfortable and/or called to do so. Some folks will say “I am ___” and others will simply yet powerfully be who they are without making any proclamations. You do you and you own your story!
4. Pet therapy. Volunteer to walk people’s pets or offer to pet sit or nag your families to give you a pet. Go to a local shelter and help care for the animals. As one LGBT staffer shared, “play with cats as cats will judge you regardless of who you are.”
5. Make time to be with people who you can be yourself with either in person or through social media (like Facetime or Skype or Snapchat).
6. Be mindful of boundaries and your limits, maybe reconsider that fourth glass of wine or that 10th serving of food or making another visit to a relative’s home. Sometimes we need to remove ourselves from certain conversations to keep from spontaneously combusting. We may need to fake a headache or go to the bathroom because xyz food is jiggling our insides in non-holiday cheer types of ways.
7. You have a right to speak your truth and own what you know, if you are comfortable doing so speak it to it. As one staffer shared, “throw hands, respectfully!”
8. Listen to music and have your own 30 second dance party (remember that trip to the restroom we mentioned earlier, this could be the moment to have your own party). You can always make it a 300-second dance party.
9. Our rooms are often our sanctuaries; it’s also important to go outside even if it’s just for five minutes to play in the snow or sand (depending on where you are). Reclaim “stride of pride” with bobcat rainbow warrior fierceness.
10. Take a break from social media, especially news media, whether for just five minutes or a whole day. Social media can be a powerful outlet for us to connect to folks who are in solidarity with us and/or who we are in solidarity with. However, it can also be a source of a lot of cold pricklies when we need warm fuzzies.
11. There’s an app for that! If you can, download Booster Buddy (a fun sidekick to help folks through the journey of self-care) and/or Plant Nanny (fun way to make sure you keep hydrated with water!).
12. Lastly, our challenge to everyone is to take time during break to do things that you are passionate about from watching TV to knitting to slam poetry. We invite you to make a list of five things you want to do over break, when you complete those five add to the list. This typed, be good to yourself and your self-care shouldn’t be stressing you out more. If you get through the five awesome, if you don’t get through the five that’s okay. Maybe some things on your list can be tweaked or goals to live into once you are back in Athens. Another way to look at this is create a list of five self-affirmations/things you like about yourself/things that make you unique and repeat this everyday (maybe even multiple times in the day). As you reaffirm your awesomeness, you can expand the list.
As we shared earlier in this piece, this is by no means an exhaustive list but a starting point for surviving through winter break. Remember you are not alone. If you need someone to speak with, add Counseling & Psychological Services to your phone (740-593-1616). Other resources are the Trevor Project (www.thetrevorproject.org; 1-866-488-7396), Trans LifeLine (www.translifeline.org; 1-877-565-8860) and National GLBT Help Center (www.glbthotline.org). Some of the organizations have hotlines for specific identity groups as well as other ways of communicating such as text message or online chatting. Also, the LGBT Center remains open once Fall Semester ends, we only close the week the entire university shuts down. If you need a space to chill and hangout, you can always come to the center.
Do you have a survival strategy you want to share with others? Send it to lgbt@ohio.edu or oulgbtcenter@gmail.com and we will share on social media during the break.
