Monogamy is a wonderful thing if you’re into it. Personally, I am. Somehow this fact becomes inconceivable when I tell someone I am bisexual. I was dating a man until recently, and I would often get asked if he was okay with it — of course he was, I wouldn’t date someone who invalidated my identity.
Then there was the inevitable follow-up question: “Oh, so you’re allowed to hook up with girls still, right?” Followed by my silent fuming as a response.
If you are in a monogamous relationship, your sexual orientation does not affect any aspect of your monogamy. I hear about this all the time, mostly with guys dating bi girls. In these relationships, the man claims monogamy but still allows his girlfriend to hook up with girls, some even encourage it.
If the girl was to hook up with a guy, however, the relationship would end. Why? Because these men actually believe this makes them progressive. However, they’re treating their girlfriends’ identities as invalid, considering her infidelity with a woman not a gross abuse of trust but instead a turn on. Completely undermining her orientation, it implies that the girl could never actually be cheating with a girl because she’s with a man; it’s not cheating — it’s just fun and sexy.
If you allow your partner to kiss another person, you don’t get to decide that person’s gender. It’s that simple, yet I hear men say they let their bisexual girlfriends kiss girls all the time. It begs the question: Do you understand how monogamy works?
You don’t hook up with anyone else. Just so we are all on the same page, that’s the definition of monogamy. So if your significant other kisses someone else or asks to kiss someone else, you need to sit down and have a chat because those things are not a part of monogamy. And if you’re gonna open up that relationship to allow your partner to hook up with other people, you can’t put a gender specific rule on it because a bisexual person’s attraction towards women is every bit as valid as their attraction towards men.
Riley Scott a sophomore studying graphic design at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. Have you been in a similar situation in a realtionship? Let Riley know by tweeting her @rileyscott413.
