WASHINGTON, D.C. — After his controversial statements comparing marijuana to
“You know what kids are doing these days?” Sessions explained. “This painkiller — well, let’s just say it causes pain and it’s a killer. They start with the regular dose, and next thing you know, they’re snorting it, smoking it and shoving it god knows where.”
Sessions has told Senate that he plans to propose a bill outlawing Advil completely.
“You know what, Pfizer Consumer Products, the company that owns Advil, didn’t
An anonymous senator was asked his thoughts on the bill.
“I sure hope it doesn’t pass,” the senator told our sources. “I’m gonna need an Advil if I have to hear Jeff’s voice again.”