Dear Cisgendered/Heterosexual People,
We know that you will not always have the right answers and that sometimes you will say something offensive without even meaning to. We recognize this and want you to know that it is okay to mess up — just take our experiences that we share with you and try to learn from it. We do not think you are problematic people, you just may say hurtful things at times. We would like to share with you a list of 9 simple things that a few folks in the LGBT+ community would like you to keep in mind. The first step to becoming a better ally is to listen to queer folk when they express how you can better understand and advocate for them.
1. Stop asking who is the man and who is the woman in same-sex couples
This heteronormative way of thinking is toxic and delegitimizes the relationship of same-sex couples.
2. Quit gendering inanimate objects
They don’t have genders.
3. Our outward presentation does not represent our sexuality or gender identity
While clothing, makeup, hairstyle, etc. is important to gender expression, it is simply a way for people to showcase their individuality and does not have any correlation to sexuality or gender identity.
4. Do not ask someone what their “real” name is
The name someone was given at their birth does not necessarily align with who they are or how they identify.
5. Do not assume all asexual people do not have sex
Asexuality is a spectrum. Remember that engaging in sexual activity is a personal choice that some asexual people participate in.
6. Do not ask someone what their genitals are/what they look like
It is rude and can make people feel dysphoric.
7. Queer folk do not have a crush on you inherently
It is very egocentric to assume that just because you match a gender someone likes that someone automatically wants you. Think of it from a heterosexual lens — not every straight person wants every person of the opposite sex or gender.
8. We are not going to turn your children gay
“The gay” is not something you can catch like some disease
9. Bisexual does not mean “half gay, half straight”
Bisexual folks are neither gay nor straight — they are bisexual. The different levels of attraction to different genders do not make someone more or less bisexual.
Cassidy Paul (pronouns: she/her/hers or they/them/theirs) is the Education Coordinator for the LGBT Center and Women’s Affairs Commissioner for Student Senate.
Is there something you have always been curious about regarding sexuality and gender but have never been able to ask? Have a question about the LGBTQ community? Email them to lgbt@ohio.edu or oulgbtcenter@gmail.com, tweet @oulgbtcenter with #qaqueer,
