BedPost: Learn to love yourself before you love anyone else

There’s something about the people in relationships in movies and TV that make us want to be with someone SO bad. It may be the way they so carelessly spend time together or how they seem like their significant other is the only other person in the world when they look at them. It’s different for every person, but there is one thing that is the same for all of us: We want to have that someday.

One thing is for sure; it’s never as easy as pop culture seems to make it. We don’t just run into our soul mate in the middle of the street on a Tuesday or meet them in a doctor’s office. There is a serious amount of time and energy needed to actually make relationships happen.

But let's get down to basics. How do you get yourself ready to be in a relationship? The answer to that question isn’t in the other person, but rather in yourself. If you don’t love you — the body, personality and brains that this world has given you — how can you possibly love someone else?

It starts like this: Remember, you are the most important person TO YOU. If you weren’t you, you wouldn’t even exist. So why can’t you learn to love the truest form of yourself? This isn’t going to be some quick fix where you snap your fingers and you’re perfectly happy, but rather a long journey into the world of self-love (and, trust me, you’ll be much happier once you get there).

Here are some tips on how to start loving yourself:

1. Tell yourself every day that you’re beautiful, strong, smart and worth it. You’re probably thinking “this is cheesy and will never work.” You’re right, and you’re wrong. If you take this seriously and REALLY tell yourself this, you’ll start to believe it, and then your mind will change to see that the statement is actually true. But if you blow it off, it’s not going to work. Simple as that.
2. Start meditating and taking yoga classes (or any kind of fitness). One of the principles of yoga is learning to love yourself and the way nature made you. Going to classes a few times a week will start to change the way you look at yourself. Once you start mastering hard poses and realizing how strong and awesome you are, you will come one step closer to loving yourself.
3. Stop comparing yourself to everyone around you (including celebrities). You were made like you for a reason. Looking around at celebrities and people who you perceive to be funnier, prettier or skinnier than you will only inspire more self-hate. Celebrities especially. They spend thousands upon thousands of dollars on their image, have personal trainers, therapists, stylists and glam squads to make them perfect. Of course, it would be nice to have those things, but it’s nearly impossible unless you have the last name Kardashian. Teach yourself that you are you for a reason, and you should be grateful for being alive. Stop stressing about the way your butt looks, of if you snort too much if you laugh. If you’re really stressed out about this, just remember the majority of people around you are thinking the same things. Why be worried about how you look when everyone else is focusing on themselves?
4. Stop listening to the negativity around you. Obviously, this is going to be one of the hardest tips to achieve. Negativity fuels self-hate and is apparent in our everyday lives. You will always have that one friend who says, “that makes your boobs look small” or “you’re so dumb,” or something like that. Ignore the negativity. They say these mean things to you because they are self-conscious about themselves. It may be hard to not listen to them, but it will make you feel better once you stop letting the negative comments affect you. Bonus points: Cut the negative friend or person out of your life, or tell them to stop being so negative. Make them aware of what they’re doing. You’ll be helping yourself and your friend in the end.

Now you’re on the journey to self-love, it’ll be easier to find your boo thang. Think of it this way: You love yourself and exude confidence and happiness. People are going to want to be around you, and vice versa. It’s going to make it a whole lot simpler to find someone, and in turn, to be with them. When you’re less worried about the way you look and act, it’s easier to focus on finding someone that complements and betters you.

So remember: if you love yourself first, other love will come in near second.

Hannah Wintucky is a sophomore studying strategic communication and Spanish at Ohio University. Please note that the views and opinions of the columnists do not reflect those of The Post. What ways do you love yourself? Let Hannah know by emailing her or tweeting her at hw333514@ohio.edu or @wintuck.