NASA wishes it had faked the moon landing because, in hindsight, it would have been a lot cheaper.
WASHINGTON — NASA recently told the public a shocking speech about sending humans to the moon, claiming that it “regrets actually sending anyone.” Due to countless moon landing conspiracy theories, NASA is rethinking the entire, extremely expensive and complex operation it pulled.
“It was probably stupid to actually send anyone to the moon,” NASA Administrator Charles Bolden told reporters. “That’s actually really dangerous. We’re lucky that nothing went too wrong. It would have been significantly safer to just not do it at all. We sort of wish we had made the whole thing up, in hindsight.”
“I mean, now that everyone’s mentioning it, it would have been a lot cheaper,” one NASA employee said. “Like, they’re right: Those images would, in fact, be easy to fake. We should have just done that. We would have won the space race and everything. You know what we could have done with all that spare money we put into space? Probably could have solved world hunger.”
This revelation naturally has been met with outrage, and NASA has faced severe backlash from the American public.
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“Damn right, I’m mad that they wish they had faked it,” ex-NASA supporter Robert Johnson said in an interview. “It’s important to me that we discover more about this universe. My life ain’t different either way I guess, though. I mean, the moon landing didn’t exactly affect my life or society in any meaningful way except to get ahead of Russia. Actually, faking it would have made a lot of sense.”
Conspiracy theorists, however, have not given up their ideas.
“I think it’s a step forward,” theorist Jenny Carpenter said. “I think they’re seeing how comfortable the public is with the idea before actually telling everyone the truth of how they faked the moon landing. It’s the same as all the large historical events that the government fakes. People need to open their eyes already.”
This anger, however, was largely overshadowed by the massive upset that Pluto is still not considered a real planet.
Marco Omta is a freshman studying music production. Do you think NASA should have staged the moon landing? Email Marco at mo183714@ohio.edu.
