An LGBT Center staff member answers questions about preferred pronouns and the coming out process.
Is it OK to ask preferred pronoun, or is that considered rude?
The fact that you are asking what pronoun somebody identifies as, shows a level of respect for that person's identity. While I don’t believe asking preferred pronouns is rude, there are some trans* individuals who prefer to be asked simply “What are your pronouns?" This is because the pronouns they use are not their "preferred" pronouns, they are simply the person's pronouns.
If you are a member of the LGBT community, do you plan on coming out to everyone you know?
For LGBT individuals, coming out is a constant and ongoing lifelong process. People generally assume you are straight/cisgender unless told otherwise. Since this is the assumption, LGBT people are consistently put in situations where they must decide if they want to come out to another person. Most LGBT people engage in some sort of identity management, meaning that they are out in some spaces while they may not be in others. Each LGBT person is different, and some choose to be very vocal about who they are while others may not want their identity to be known.
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Sarah Grote is a staff member for the LGBT Center at Ohio University. Do you have a question relating to the LGBT community? Email them to lgbt@ohio.edu or oulgbtcenter@gmail.com, tweet @oulgbtcenter with #qaqueer, tumblr at oulgbtcenter or post/message to the center’s Facebook page, oulgbtcenter. Individuals who submit questions will appear anonymously in our responses. All questions are welcome!
