Columnist Erin Davoran discusses the experience of living with a stranger and how that can result in an unexpected friendship.
Does anyone else feel like living in dorms, especially the risk of random roommates, started as a social experiment that just stuck?
Think about the concept of a standard double: Two strangers move into an 11-by-12 foot room that will serve as bedroom, living room, kitchen, office and basically everything but a bathroom for nine months and have to figure out how to make it work.
Dorms aren’t always the standard double, of course. There are singles, triples, mods, quads and suites. Ohio University’s new dorms are like fancy hotels, and many of the new students never have to suffer the horror of community bathrooms. No matter what the setup, dorming is still weird and risky.
Sometimes the risk ends in disaster – roommates can be nightmares and room changes need to be made – or sometimes it’s a perfect match.
I was lucky enough to find a perfect, random match my sophomore year. My random roommate is now one of my best friends, and I’m so grateful to have been so lucky. She graduated early but is visiting this weekend. I can’t wait to be living with her again, even if it’s just for two days.
How crazy is it that two and a half years after moving in as complete strangers, we still talk about how much we miss our corner room in Bryan that was so hot this time of year, we slept with the window open every night of winter? Sorry, Facilities.
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How is it that a stranger can be the best person to live with, but some people room with their best friends and can’t make it work?
I’m sure there’s a lot of psychology and sociology and all that jazz involved, but mostly I think a lot of what makes rooming together work, besides personalities and habits of course, is what you want from a roommate. Some people just want someone to live with but not get close with, and that’s absolutely fine. Other people are open to or really want to be friends, whether they started that way or not.
I didn’t go into my sophomore year wanting anything other than a good location to my classes and a roommate who was “normal.” My roommate wasn’t normal, but she is my kind of crazy.
Some of you may be experiencing living with a new roommate this semester, such as a transfer student or someone coming back from an internship, and may be apprehensive.
Although there are a million nightmare roommate stories, and a new person in your very small space may upset your status quo, I’m here to tell you that sometimes, it works out. And to all the freshmen who will soon be receiving dates for the room lottery for next year, consider going random.
If the friends you have made this year are living in a dorm that is not where or what you want (like mine freshman year who wanted a quad in the Convo – so not for me), it’s OK to find a better fit for you and still be friends with them (I am now living in a house with two of those girls and we’re still best friends).
As I finish school and look to enter the workforce, I’m realizing how much of life is just trying to get along with other people at home, work, school, etc.
Dorming is a crazy experiment, but it does help ready you for interpersonal relationships you really have no choice but to endure for the rest of your life.
And when it works, and after you’ve lived with roommates who’ve become like soulmates, you’ll wish you could do it all again (except for the community bathrooms. Never again).
Dorm life can be risky, but sometimes you get lucky. I know I did.
Erin Davoran is a senior studying journalism. Have you had a random roommate become one of your best friends? Tweet her @erindavoran or email her at ed414911@ohio.edu.
