The 2011 feature takes an interesting look at the risk of international dating websites.
Upon reflection of my previous articles, I have noticed that I, whether subconsciously or not, am a huge proponent of love. I am a fan of real life, actual, wonderful, terrible and heart breakingly real love. Whether it be old love gone sour (6 Years) or the sweet awkwardness of new love (Moonrise Kingdom) or bro-love (Smosh: The Movie), I have expressed time and time again my support for companionship.
This week, however, I noticed that the idealistic love that is often portrayed in movies are a false representation of reality. This, of course, isn’t to say that every depiction of romance is invalid. Simply, relationships aren’t always picture perfect.
Love Me is a 2011 documentary by Jonathon Narducci that details the journey of six men and their quests to find true love through mail-order bride/international dating websites.
As soon as the documentary starts, it attempts to neutralize any preconceived notions the audience has about mail-order brides. After all, many of the dilemmas people had about brides were rooted in morality and ideology — two things people fiercely cling to. Many questions were raised about the reality of an actual relationship like this lasting, as well as the principle of financing an attractive stranger to come overseas with the expectation of marriage.
Love Me makes a solid attempt to give a more candid and honest depiction of the ‘courting process.’ This documentary is not as much a case study of those who seek brides but more so a commentary on the riskiness and uncertainty of the international dating websites. The entire process, it seems, is much more about money and politics than actual love.
The men of this documentary are portrayed as honest people who are forking out thousands of dollars in hopes of finding companionship and, in turn, the audience gets to see how the heads of these websites like John Adams of loveme.com and Elena Petrova of elenasmodels.com are profiting from their consumers decisions. Yet, neither is depicted to be the enemy.
The success of these relationships is based almost entirely on the female and what her actual intentions are. According to Petrova, marriage and family are two of the most important things to a girl in Eastern Europe. But, upon observation, the girls on these websites are not actually desperate or naive.
{{tncms-asset app="editorial" id="23722e64-6c6b-11e5-8c93-6f28db812259"}}
They know exactly the kind of money their potential suitors will spend to make them happy. Some women choose to take advantage of this. In the documentary, one woman went as far as marrying her online sweetheart in Bali before turning around and giving him his ring back. She said she needed to find the best option for her and her kids and he just wasn’t it.
Problems like this happen rather frequently. Catfishing and scamming are almost regular occurrences when it comes to international dating. Out of the six men in the documentary that sought a mail-order bride, only four got engaged and, out of that, two got married. A lot of heartbreak is on the line.
I enjoyed Love Me because it gave a relatively unbiased look on a very touchy subject. I would recommend it to anyone who has ever been curious about the reality of international dating and mail-order brides.
Personally, it feels like the mail-order bride business is like any other kind of dating: risky and expensive.
Kaitlyn McGarvey is a freshman studying journalism. Have you seen Moonrise Kingdom? Email her at km451814@ohio.edu or tweet @McGarveyKaitlyn.
