Male entitlement at the bars is the assumption that purchasing someone a drink also purchases the woman for the night.
The curious case of male entitlement is one commonly seen and heard at bars and other party scenes. When interviewed, sophomore Niara Stitt, who is studying political science pre-law and potentially strategic communication, had many comments on the wide-ranging issue.
Stitt believes that male entitlement is a “perpetuated generational trend caused by a continuance of male dominance in the home, workplace and social circles.” In college, it is most seen at the bar as one after another guy buys drinks for, what they believe to be, potential sexual partners.
There is no problem with someone buying a drink for another in hopes of something more, but there is an issue with men buying drinks assuming that each drink buys them a step closer to the inside of the woman’s bedroom.
“I think guys feel like since they put their money into it, they invested in this sexual possibility, and that means there should be an outcome,” Stitt said.
It is important for men to wrap their heads around the fact that women, or anyone on a college budget, wants someone else to purchase them a drink. Stop assuming that a woman wants something other than a free beverage. This expectation of an outcome is absurd and unfairly taught through social norms and societal gender stereotypes.
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“The best way to fix (this issue) is to educate them on why it’s wrong and why they might feel that way,” Stitt said. “No man is going to easily accept that his masculinity is as fragile as a baby bird, but I think there are ways to make them realize that just because you are a man, because society has these norms of you behaving in these ways, doesn’t mean it is OK for you to actually act those things out.”
However, there is a point where the efforts to educate hit a brick wall. At that moment, understanding that one cannot teach an old dog new tricks, or well, teach a college male that buying a woman a drink does not entitle sexual relations, is a lost cause. It is extremely difficult to change the way men have been raised for 19, 20 or even 23 years.
The best thing women can do is remind men that a $4 drink is not equivalent to their worth. If he does not realize this, then move on to a guy that does, or keep using the ignorant one for free drinks. The only issue with that would be the dangerous outcome of an angry, college male in Patagonia. Women have rational reasons to be afraid of this kind of result, college nights can be dangerous at times.
“Women should feel free to go out, party and not be afraid that some guy is going to feel like he has a stake or claim on her,” Stitt said.
There needs to be a decision by men to respect the woman whose drink they offered to buy. If that cannot be done then guys, save the money and stop buying drinks for other people. However, if you do purchase a woman a drink, remember it is the drink being bought not the woman. A free drink should not have a cost in sexual payment, nor should there be an expectancy of one.
Elizabeth Chidlow is a sophomore studying journalism. What do you think of male entitlement at the bars? Email her at ec629914@ohio.edu.
