Thousands of children grow up in military families and each experience is different.
Growing up with her stepfather in the Army, Veronica Borja became adjusted to moving every two years. Borja, now a freshman studying social work at Ohio University, has lived in 10 different locations.
“I was always having to say goodbye to the people and places around me,” she said.
This is a common experience for many military children, who will move six to nine times, an average of three times more than nonmilitary families, according to the Department of Defense Education Activity estimates.
There are 1.88 million military children, according to the DOD’s 2013 demographics report on military families, and since 2001, more than 2 million children have had a parent deployed at least once.
The effects of being in a military family continue on throughout childhood into the college years, with many students sharing a common bond and experiences.
Military kids and college
Being in a military family helped with the transition to college, said Belinda Sterling, a sophomore studying music education, because it helped her make friends quickly.
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Sterling was 10 years old when her family started moving. Though her father was in the Ohio National Guard, it wasn’t until he met her stepmom, who was in active duty, that the family began moving every three years.
“When it did happen to me, I had to keep my head up and not complain, so I completely adapted to that,” she said. “I didn’t keep in touch with any friends, because I was concentrating on making new friends.”
But retaining friendships can be difficult when relocating so frequently.
“I’ve never been in a set group, because you’re just used to talking to everyone,” she said. “You don’t know how to settle down.”
Growing up in a military family taught many students responsibility and has given them an appreciation for spending time with family and friends.
Jordan Kelley, a freshman studying art, met other students who grew up in military families through the Office of Veterans and Military Student Services.
Kelley, along with Kelly Williams, a freshman studying education and Tori Ullmann, a freshman studying journalism, wanted to create a club for dependents, military family members who are listed for rights, benefits and pay.
They are finalizing the details to create the Military Dependents Club.
“There are so many people in military families, and we want to get together and do community outreach, while offering support to each other,” Ullman said.
David Edwards, director of the Office of Veterans and Military Student Services, said this club fills a need for Ohio University students.
“Oftentimes, the viewpoint of the center is focused on the veterans, forgetting about the family members,” he said. “Knowing that there is a group available for a person to be a part of that has that common frame of reference where they can be themselves and get help and get support is vital to success in school and work, whatever the case may be.”
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Calle Fortun, a freshman studying music therapy said all of the men in her family, except for her brother and boyfriend, are in the military and it’s changed the way she views relationships.
“It makes you see things differently because you don’t know when they (military members) are going to leave and how much time you have with them,” she said.
Dealing with Deployment
Fortun has never lived on base, but her dad was deployed to Korea for three months.
“He could call and email and send pictures, and that was much better than not being able to do something at all,” she said.
Ullmann’s dad was deployed three different times — to New Jersey, Kuwait and Afghanistan.
“You become extremely close to the parent you have at home and your siblings, because you have to help each other through everything,” she said. “My dad also recorded a message in a Build-A-Bear that we could play.”
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When parents return, it’s often hard for the family to adjust to the new dynamics, Williams said. “The first couple weeks after my dad returns, he doesn’t know everything that’s happening or what has happened, so it’s tough to make things seem normal again,” she said. “But you are always so excited when (family members) come back and appreciate the time you have with your family when they return.”
Making the Move
Growing up with fathers in the Air Force drew both Shane O’Connell and Jacob Young onto the same path. Both are senior cadets in Air Force ROTC.
“Since my dad flew, we were always around airplanes and it was always loud, but I loved it,” O’Connell, a senior studying mechanical engineering, said. “I remember when we lived in Idaho the second time, I could watch jets take off from my parent’s window, and I would just sit and watch.”
The family usually moved every three years, but in 2001, they moved three times before settling in Ohio, as his father retired from the Air Force.
Young, a senior studying meteorology, said he didn’t enjoy moving as a young kid but grew to love it.
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“I’m excited to keep (moving around) because now it’s me choosing it, so I can’t really complain,” he said.
Base Life
When moving for the military, living on bases isn’t often required and some families choose to live nearby, instead of on the base.
Young lived on two different bases throughout his life and said the experience is similar to living in a civilian area, but there are rules to follow, such as stopping everything when the National Anthem plays and showing a military ID to get on base.
“You feel pretty secure, and it’s a close-knit community,” Young said. “You know everyone else understands your life, and everyone is supportive.”
Sterling never lived on base, but she said she enjoyed visiting them.
“I know this is a little weird, but they had some of the best thrift shops I’ve ever been to,” she said. “The people who donate are all military families who have moved around a lot, so you can always find interesting things from all over the world.”
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