BedPost gives pointers on how to make the best out of fest season hookups.
Fest season is upon us. That means day drinking. Day eating. Day sex. Athens’ creatures of the night all writhe in the mud on Palmer and Mill streets, the scent of beer and Fireball clinging to their bodies.
Much like how your strategy for consuming beverages must be amended for the change in lighting and lengthened imbibing window, so too could your sex. After all, you could take someone home after hours of drinking and flirting before it’s even dinner time.
We at BedPost LLC, are familiar with this yearly phenomenon and have a few words of premature advice for the hookups that will inevitably occur between beer runs and playing Frisbee.
- Consent. You need consent to have sex. Clear-as-day consent. A mutual verbal agreement, and a handshake perhaps, to confirm that wanted sex is about to occur. If someone isn’t emotionally or physically in a condition to consent, you’re not having sex. This is going to be thing No. 1 on any list of advice for sex in any capacity.
- Just because you engaged in afternoon sex doesn’t mean you have to head back out with them. Feel free to part ways for the second half of the day’s street fest. Let them know you have friends to get back to, memories to make, pizza to eat, if that’s what you desire.
- Don’t be afraid to hop in the shower real quick before slapping each other’s genitals against each other; they’re probably pretty sweaty and muddy from the debauchery outside. There’s no shame in cleaning up a smidge before getting dirty again.
- Just because every other gross thing you’re doing that day is outside and public doesn’t mean your sex should be. Getting a room is still on your priority list. Banging in a yard is a good way to end up in Nelsonville.
- Change up your playlist. You probably listen to different music during the day than you do at night, and the same switch can benefit the mood in the sack at 1 in the afternoon. Instead of Marvin Gaye or Earth, Wind and Fire, throw on The Strokes or De La Soul. Or maybe still Earth, Wind and Fire.
- You can’t get a boner when you’re hungry and dehydrated. Keep eating and drinking water so you don’t have a rendezvous with a hospital bed instead of that hottie in the next yard.
- Seriously, Earth, Wind and Fire.
- Don’t forget to alert your friends to your bedroom whereabouts before you dash off into the distance. A simple “I’m going to ____’s place, they live on ____ Street and I will meet you in ____ minutes,” should work. Use your rumpus partner’s phone charger (assuming they have the same phone) during coitus. Don’t lose your friends.
Good afternoon and good luck.
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Emma Ockerman is a sophomore studying journalism and local editor for The Post. Ian Ording is a senior studying journalism and copy chief for The Post. They wrote this one together. Have any more questions or suggestions about your bodies? Email them to thebedpostpeople@gmail.com.
