A breakdown of etiquette for playing recreational basketball.
Pull up your high white socks and dust off your old pair of Nikes from high school. Fill your Gatorade squirt bottle to the brim and try out the brand new Jordan apparel you ordered online.
As you walk into the gym, a large human being may unexpectedly approach and ask, “Yo, you got next?”
Instantly claim yes, you do have the next game, or else you may be sitting on the sidelines for quite a while.
Before stepping onto that court, however, there are a few unspoken laws that you should be cognizant of.
First off, if you’re looking to be protected out there, good luck. As you look around, there are no black and white striped officials to blow their whistle for you.
That’s right. Call your own fouls, but be careful because not everything is a foul. It better actually be something worth calling, or else you may be playing against some angry opponents.
If the ball goes out of bounds or a foul is called, then the ball gets checked up at the top of the arc. This is especially too bad if your only true skill is shooting “granny-style” free throws.
You may ask, what if there’s a 50/50 close call? How does that get decided?
“You stepped out of bounds,” someone shouts at you.
“Your foot was on the line, that wasn’t a three,” argues the other team.
The game ball then thuds against your chest.
“Ball don’t lie.”
Don’t panic. The ball isn’t going to come alive and tell you the truth. The idea is to shoot a 3-pointer and if it goes in, your team gets the call. If you miss, it’s a turnover.
The scoring is simple. A shot inside the ark is worth one; outside is worth two. A game is usually played to 12, but your team must win by a margin of two points.
While playing defense, the main rules are to not get crossed over, and do not get dunked on. That is, unless you enjoy public humiliation.
So how can you be a winner out there?
If you can’t dribble well, then don’t play point guard. If you can’t shoot 3-pointers well, then don’t shoot 30-footers. Playing basketball isn’t terribly difficult, and you won’t be able to fool anyone with your nonexistent skill-set.
If all else fails and you don’t have “mad skills”, just pass the ball and use effort on defense and things will be just fine.
Remember it’s just a game and you’re not an NBA superstar, so have fun.
Nick Kairys is a freshman studying journalism and a writer for The Post. Let him know your favorite pick-up basketball rules on Twitter @NKairys or by emailing nk596613@ohio.edu.
