This weeks BedPost question comes from someone who's ready to get a steady girl friend but only attracts hookups.
Dear BedPost,
I’ve had a fair amount of hookups during my time at school, but now I think I’m ready for a relationship. The only problem is, the girls I usually talk to and hook up with are not the kind of girls you take home to mom. How do I find a nice, classy girl who will commit to me?
Dear reader,
Um...erm...hmmm...let’s unpack this.
All I could think about when reading this is you standing on a corner with a blaring neon sign claiming that you’re open for business. It’s totally awesome that you’re ready to be a committed man and you know what you want, but the universe does not hang on what you’re ready for. Just because you want something to happen does not mean it will. Just ask Mandy Moore … where in the world has that girl been?
Obviously you wanna make sure you’re ready within yourself when you’re starting a relationship, but if you haven’t met the person that makes you want to commit to her yet, then you’re kind of missing an important part of the relationship: that person.
And I’m no doctor, but I’m pretty sure at least one other person is required to make a relationship a relationship. If you try to will something to happen with the wrong person just because you want to date someone, you’re in for no fun.
I guess I’m also a little confused as to why you wouldn’t want to bring these girls you hooked up with home to mom (provided you got serious with them)? Do they have an outstanding warrant in your county? Are they allergic to the kind of perfume your mom wears? Oh, or maybe it’s because they slept with you in a casual context. If that’s what you mean, then maybe no one should want to take you home to meet their mama either.
As for where to find nice, classy girls, you probably should ask elsewhere, as I am neither. They probably play croquet? Perhaps the harp? My advice though, would be to chill the hell out, wait it out and try to find someone you genuinely like. Worry about whether they’re “classy” enough for you after … or not at all.
Kristin Salaky is a senior studying journalism and a slot editor at The Post.
Who is this mom you have who is so judgmental toward women who aren’t southern belles that it’s blowing up your dating game? Tell her to cool it, dog. Just because a honey is down to climb on you after a pleasant evening on the town doesn’t mean she’s not a perfectly fine person worthy of a mother-in-law’s acceptance.
What constitutes a girl you’d want to bring home to mom? A girl who volunteers at dog shelters instead of going to Tony’s? Someone who doesn’t swear and only has two piercings, one in each lobe? A girl who doesn’t listen to hip hop because the subject material makes her uncomfortable?
If you’ve spent so long having random hookups with acquaintances, I’d wager that girl you’d take home to mom wouldn’t be right for you. That would probably be a bad relationship; you’d be on very different wavelengths and both of you would have expectations of the other that would leave you each disappointed.
But if you’re set on finding this boring, nice girl, here’s a few tips and tricks.
Look at church. They go there. Also, the library. Good girls read books. They love ’em. Don’t ask me why.
When said good girl is in your crosshairs, a well-timed offer to get chai tea at Donkey Coffee will seal the deal. And here’s the bad news: that’s the last deal you’ll seal with Susan. She’s probably named Susan.
Or find someone who is right for you. Because it sounds like Susan isn’t.
Ian Ording is a senior studying journalism and Copy Chief of The Post.
Having trouble finding the right hookup? Contact thebedpostpeople@gmail.com.
