Despite common misconceptions, feminism is not about man hating. Feminists do not want men to be considered less than women. In fact, most feminists simply want equality. The problem is when someone has a privileged status, that person can perceive someone taking away that advantage as having their status lowered.
And as someone who has some privilege, I will admit that I have fallen victim to this. It is difficult, but in order to get past it, you have to step outside of your initial emotional reaction and look at the facts. As humans, our perceptions of things are different and skewed from our experiences and what life has afforded us.
When a group of people are conversing and women participate the same amount as men, men say women were dominating the conversation. They genuinely believe it, and weren't being ridiculous. Men are used to being handed the microphone, always being allowed to speak and always being in control of what is being said. But when women begin to speak, men perceive it as a right being taken away, when in actuality, a field is being leveled and privileges are being taken away.
If men would just listen to feminists, they would understand that feminists are all for men having the best lives they can. Because — surprise — sexism affects men too.
It's hard to believe. All your lives, many of you have been told that feminists are the enemy, and that we all want to hold men down and form a matriarchy while making test tube babies and burning our bras. But we want to help you too.
Have you ever been told you do something “like a girl,” as an insult? When we think about that phrase, what about it is meant to be insulting? Why should you be insulted for doing something “like a girl?” It's because of sexism. It is an implication that women are worse than men, and for any man to be compared to a woman is an insult.
Men aren't allowed to show their emotions as much as women are because it's seen as “girly.” And men are less likely to report sexual assaults, rape or abuse because it is seen as emasculating. Masculinity is so fragile, and it relies on a basis of sexism and keeping women down.
This isn't to say that masculinity is bad. What feminism wants is a choice. We want men to be able to choose whether they want to be masculine or feminine, or maybe even something in between. We want women to be able to make the same choice.
What we're fighting for is a world in which people can make the choices that feel right for themselves without society telling them it's wrong. And men are not excluded in that.
Bailey Breece is junior studying English and German. Email her at bb463711@ohio.edu
