Don't know what to do with your recently caught feelings? Here are some tips from Post columnists to deal with those.
Dear Bedpost,
I was hooking up with a guy for a few months on and off. We have all the same friends so we hung out casually with them as well. He told me he had feelings for me and I totally freaked out and told him that I didn’t feel like that for him. Now, it’s been a few months and I’m kind of realizing I do. How do I get him back?
Dear reader,
As humans, we are inherently self-involved. We love praise and self actualization which many times comes from physical contact and people telling us how much they care about us, which is totally tops, but can be really confusing.
It sounds like you had a nice casual thing with this guy going at first and you seemed happy about it. Just because he has feelings for you doesn’t mean that you have any reason to have feelings back.
One thing I think people need to get through their brains is that just because someone gives you attention does not mean that you love them. One of the biggest pitfalls people can fall into is loving the way that someone treats you, not necessarily them.
Take a step back and think about your time with him: If he never told you his feelings for you would you still feel this way? How much do you even know about this bro? What makes him cringe? Does he like Adam Sandler movies? What shot does he order at Lucky’s?
Mull that over, have a coffee, mull it over some more and if you still feel like you want to go for it, go for it. Getting him “back” should not be your issue. People aren’t prizes to be won, so if you want him to know how you feel, all you can do is let him know and hope that he still feels the same way.
But, for the love of all that is holy, make sure you actually like the dude. Kosher?
Kristin Salaky is a senior studying journalism and a slot editor at The Post.
You’ve dug yourself a hole, reader — a hole I’m going to get you out of.
Your first step is going to be purchasing or picking an inordinate amount of flowers. Dudes love flowers. Spread rose petals or orchids or some other kind of flower all over his front doorstep so he sees them on the way out to work or class.
Next, find out where he’s going to eat lunch. Call ahead, and pay for his meal. Leave a credit card number or something. Figure it out. But getting your favorite burrito for free when you thought you would be out seven bucks is enough to make anyone swoon. Maybe rose petals in Big Mama’s, too.
Blackmail his professors to have subliminal photos of you and him together in the professor’s presentations. This is the most important part of the whole operation. He’s going to have to be psychologically convinced that the two of you together is a good idea after you scared him so thoroughly just months prior. Petals.
To seal the deal, paint a giant heart with both of your initials in it on the ceiling above his bed. After being subtly tricked into liking you again, this will be the knockout punch to finish him off. He’ll call you and ask if everything that day was you. Here’s the super trick — you say no. You were too good for him before, why would that have changed? Claim ignorance of the entire ordeal. You won. The game’s over.
Or tell him you’re starting to like him and see if he wants to go to dinner or something. Go bowling. Find out if he’s still interested in you and take it from there. I bet he is. That’s how these things tend to go.
Ian Ording is a senior studying journalism and Copy Chief of The Post. Want to know how to win a man back? Email him at io312410@ohio.edu or tweet him @IanOrding.
