A relationship cannot thrive on Skype calls and texting alone. An effort must be made on both ends in order to make things work.
I came to OU an unattached woman.
I wanted to start college with a clean slate, to leave the past in its place and begin anew. The thought of maintaining a long-distance relationship after graduation made me cringe, and the idea of that level of heartbreak was even more unpleasant.
It is very easy to become seduced by the seemingly endless possibilities that college has to offer. Over the past three years of my undergraduate career, I have heard numerous stories of relationships crumbling under the pressure and uncertainty that college brings. We are all small fish upgraded from a pond to an ocean, and the change of scenery and population can be overwhelming, especially for couples. Winter Quarter of my freshman year, I bore witness to one such phenomenon.
A close friend of mine, and former Bobcat, ventured to OU with a fledgling relationship under her belt. She and her boyfriend had not been together more than a couple of months when she made the move, confident that nothing was going to tear them apart. They were, for all intents and purposes, perfect for one another. But somewhere down the line, something changed. Despite their weekly Skype calls and continuous text conversations, they began to drift apart. It had always been routine for them to recount the details of their day to one another. But one day, it occurred to her that she had no idea what her boyfriend was talking about. The people he talked about were strangers to her, and she found it hard to laugh alongside him about something funny that he had experienced. She wasn’t there. She didn’t know.
The pair felt as if their lives no longer connected, and they were no longer relevant to one another. They operated in different social circles and spent their weekends three hours apart. The complications came to a head the day she realized she was attracted to other people. Her heart was pulling in various directions, and none of them pointed back home.
The first thing she asked me after the breakup was, “What could we have done to avoid this?”
The answer was simple:
Communication is key. As cliché as it sounds, it’s the truth. You cannot have a healthy relationship if you do not communicate well with one another, and that is where the majority of complications arise for people attempting to maintain long-distance relationships. If you are unhappy, talk it out. Don’t allow doubt and uncertainty to fester under the surface.
A relationship cannot thrive on Skype calls and texting alone. An effort must be made on both ends in order to make things work. Come up with a schedule or agree to alternate weekends visiting one another. Couples who champion the relationship together often see more success than those who assume that their significant other is going to take the reins.
Variety is the spice of life, but that doesn’t mean that you have to search for new experiences separately.
Olivia Hupp is a senior studying English literature and creative writing. Have you been in a long-distance relationship? Email her about it at oh994610@ohio.edu.
