By Meryl Gottlieb| mg986611@ohiou.edu| @buzzlightmeryl
Glee airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. on Fox
Rating: 1/5
Once again I find myself questioning why I continue to watch Glee, even though I do enjoy critiquing it to pieces. The storylines in McKinley are more pointless than ever, and I’m now forcing myself to try to enjoy the New York scenes more than I probably should.
Before I begin, I have to say what a monstrosity it is that they do a "Trio" episode and don't include anything from the Unholy Trinity. They are the original Glee trio, and I don't see why they would do an episode without them. Bring the good ol' days back!!!
Sam (Chord Overstreet), Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) and Blaine (Darren Criss) sing “Jumpin’, Jumpin’” just because. Seriously. That’s their reason.
Tina freaks out every time she thinks about graduation because it means their friendships will all die soon because “high school is the glue holding it together.” I’m sick to my stomach at how much these people have invested in their high school. I can count on my hands the number of people I still want to and do talk to from high school. Move on people. It’s unbearably pathetic. Also, if you all are so worried about not being friends anymore, why are you pushing Artie (Kevin McHale) out of this whole episode?! The entire time it’s just about you three, talking about your senior times, but you leave Artie out. Rude.
The trio decides to have an overnight lock-in at the school because obviously nothing would be better than hanging out at your high school all night. Seriously, who thinks this is something anyone would ever want to do?! They sing “Don’t You (Forget About Me)” in all its cliché glory as they do so many illegal things in the school. They use fire extinguishers for a chair race, dress up in people’s Cheerio uniforms, debate a threesome — this actually happened and I can’t believe it — and draw faces on their chins to sing. The whole thing was just idiotic and the chin thing was creepy and gross. But the fun ends when Becky (Lauren Potter) catches them and forces them to hang out with her. They don’t write Becky well anymore, and I wish they would just stop. It’s not funny; it’s mostly obnoxious. The night is still going well until Blaine catches Sam and Tina sneaking off to make out. His reaction was priceless. I loved the overdramatic nature of it all. Mostly because that kiss WAS gross. Blaine continues to be mad but then gets over it. Yay. Did anyone care? What a waste of time.
Will (Matthew Morrison) and Emma (Jayma Mays) are trying to have a baby. They are both too nervous about it so to calm their nerves, they sing “Danny’s Song” as they paint a nursery, look at baby names and watch a movie. Then they do the deed, and Emma ends up pregnant. I really wish I still cared about this relationship.
In New York, Rachel (Lea Michele) moved in with Elliott (Adam Lambert) and has made him her new “best gay,” a title he doesn’t really want. That few second clip of Rachel kicking him out of his bed was quite funny. Good for Lea Michele for still being one of the few shining stars in the sea of blackness that is the show. Instead of going over the full Funny Girl repertoire, the two sing “Barracuda” — yes, the obvious next choice. FYI to the writers, the attempt to have that self-deprecating joke about Rachel having a band at all times was a nice try. It was a weird song choice. Don’t just make them sing “rock” songs so Lambert can belt. At least try. There was no need to have them duet in that moment. Have them duet at home as new roommates. That at least would have made an ounce more sense.
The other shining star in the show is of course Santana (Naya Rivera). Her sass and wit is so biting and delicious, such as when she called Rachel a “Jewish Hillary Clinton.” Their fighting has drawn out some great sass from both of them. I love seeing Michele play a feistier Rachel; it’s actually funny and let’s her finally do more than strut around and sing.
Elliott is thrown into the middle of their catfight and song when they have to sing “Gloria” for a customer at the diner. This was at least a good song choice. It also allowed the sass to be physical as Rachel and Santana fought for the spotlight. But the drama is too much for Elliott, who says he is quitting the band until the nonsense stops.
Kurt (Chris Colfer) breaks up Pamela Lansbury to form a trio with Elliott and Dani (Demi Lovato) called One Three Hill. Remember Dani? We haven’t heard from her in weeks but in true Glee fashion, she returned as if it were nothing. The new trio sings “The Happening” at a gig as Rachel and Santana watch with faces that seem as if sense were being knocked into their heads. I actually really liked this song. The vocals were splendid and the little backup dances were cute.
In an even truer Glee fashion, the show ends with the whole cast singing “Hold On.” The McKinley seniors, One Three Hill, Rachel and Santana all sing it in their own scenes. First off, I don’t want to see this song in any other media than Bridesmaids; it can never live up to it. Second, there was seriously zero reason for this episode to exist. I know that is how most people would describe every episode, but at least some serve a slight purpose in moving the overall story along. At least last week had more than one good musical moment and had a decent storyline in New York. This week? Nothing. I’m counting the days until this show ends. It has run out of ideas, and I’m not sure why they can’t refigure the contract to make the show end after this season and not the next. Let’s just keep praying that once the show permanently moves to New York it will be a bit better.
