There’s a plethora of events that might put a little perspective on a journalist’s career. War coverage, perhaps. Presidential elections, supreme court cases and controversy: a writer’s bread and butter.
At The Post, we’re so lucky to experience such ground-breaking, emotional and hard-hitting news every spring: fest season.
Like black coffee, it keeps us going.
Mill, Palmer and High fests mean something a little more to us, akin to a snowy, white Christmas morning. It’s the rare occasion a student will notice a reporter’s notebook and slur, “Hey, you’re with The Post!” and proceed to tell us something horrifying, hilarious or possibly life-ruining.
If requested by the student, we keep it out of the front-page story. Sometimes the students don’t give us their names, or they take our pens and personally cross out what they just said (it has happened to me). More often, what they said remains too vulgar or self-deprecating to include in the article.
Nonetheless, here’s a sample of what didn’t make it into our Palmer Fest coverage:
• “Spring break forever!” said one student at Palmer Place, at roughly noon. “I told work I couldn’t come for this. I said I was sick. I could get fired, I think.”
After: “Did you write that down?
After, sprinting toward one Post reporter: “I don’t want to lose my job!”
• “Give me a minute, I have to get my s--t together,” a student told one Post reporter Saturday. The student then proceeded to vomit.
• “There are cops from Dublin here,” one student noted. “I want to pet a horse.”
• “I’ve done a couple beer bongs. I mean, I’m like, ‘woah.’ These b-----s are everywhere,” said one inebriated student. “I’m trying to get a blonde girl on my side, and these guys are like ‘Dude, you ain’t getting a blonde girl,’ and I’m like, ‘b---h.’”
• “Reporter lady?” asked one concerned student. “Are you a cop?”
• “Puke and rally.”
• “Clear eyes, full hearts. Let’s booze,” said one student who thought those words made sense.
• “Cool quotes come out when I’m drunk,” said one considerate student. “Come back in two hours.”
Lastly, one student quoted Ricky Bobby:
• “In the words of the late great Colonel Sanders, I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”
Emma Ockerman is a freshman studying journalism and a staff writer for The Post. Local Staff members Suhyeon Park, William T. Perkins and Heather Hare also contributed to this column. Tell The Post what we left out of our fest coverage at posteditorial@ohiou.edu.
