Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday; it allows you to literally eat yourself into a food coma and not have any regrets because it’s the holidays. Turkey, pumpkin pie and the sacred stuffing will be within your grasp shortly after reading this installment of the PHILosopher.
But how do you deal with returning home, to the reality of the real world, after being in utopian Athens for two solid months? I got you covered. However, home may not be that safe haven it once was growing up.
If you did your freshmen year anything like I did (which included fraternity parties, house parties, “because it’s Tuesday” parties) expect a lot of concerned stares, many headshakes, along with the phrase, “what the hell am I paying for exactly?” Just remember you won’t be home much longer and before you know it you’ll be screaming at the kid who is visiting for using too much elbow at the pong table.
Another key point to consider is that all the freedoms you have at Ohio University are immediately revoked this weekend. This point especially applies to the typical collegiate eating schedule. It is no longer considered “normal” to be eating dinner after bars close. You may have forgotten while at college, but most restaurants at home aren’t particularly willing to deliver you pizza at 2 a.m.
After the turkey coma wears off, you’ll begin to realize how much you actually miss OU. This even includes going to class. The weekend following Thanksgiving is always the slowest weekend because your parents are going to want to spend “quality” time with you. This leaves you little to no wiggle room to hit up old high school friends because Thanksgiving break is only four days long. And what really sucks is that your mom’s idea of “quality” time now consists of the family sitting on the couch watching some Lifetime Movie Network crap. Gag me.
So, how do you survive the roughly 96 hours away from Bobcat paradise? First thing is, bring your laundry. There is a 99.9 percent chance someone will do it for you during break. Laundry is the root of all college evil and if Momma Bear offers, don’t hesitate to hand over the basket. As far as socializing and sharing some of the crazy stories you’ve been a part of… perhaps it’s best to keep those to yourself.
I made the mistake of telling my mother about a particularly eventful party where I ended up waking up in a dryer the next morning. Needless to say, to this day, she still asks me if I’m doing my best impression of a Tide Pod every morning after a night that I go out. Momma’s got jokes.
Thanksgiving break is not going to be a banger by any means. Look on the bright side; you get to eat a bunch of good free food, laundry is done, and you actually get to relax your liver for a weekend. I meant brain.
Phil Morehead is a senior studying health services administration and a columnist for The Post. What are your plans for Thanksgiving break? Email him at pm189309@ohiou.edu.
