We’re a little sad to be going. We’ve enjoyed telling you all about the beers to drink and the beers to avoid. We’ve enjoyed getting together every week to revisit an old favorite or take a risk on new brew. It’s been a wonderful experience. But this experience is nowhere near as wonderful as taking that first, refreshing gulp of Natural Light.
You read that correctly. Natural Light is the king of all beers. It’s perfect. The color? Like urine, only prettier. The smell? Bordering on putrid, but in a good sort of way. The taste? Only enough to make sure you love it! Just look at the name: It’s natural and it’s light. Everybody loves things that are natural and light! Grab a case, find your favorite fest, and have yourself a good time!
As you drink your way through your 30 cans of Natural Light, you’ll notice that the more you drink, the less you can tell you’re drinking beer. Embrace that feeling. It’s this beer’s way of telling you that it is good for you (it’s natural after all — everything that’s natural is good for you, right?).
Of course, we’re just kidding. We’re not very big fans of Natural Light. When we’re drinking on a budget, we usually at least spring for some Pabst Blue Ribbon. And we really shouldn’t encourage you to drink an entire case of beer, either, or else our editor might give us a stern lecture about liability.
What this column has been about is the appreciation of one of the greatest inventions on this lonely little rock. Beer is a historic beverage, a cultural signifier, and the perfect social lubricant. Old scores can be settled and feuds can be set aside if the two parties will just meet to have a beer — remember Obama’s beer summit? It’s a beautiful thing that deserves to be appreciated. So instead of buying that case of whatever macro brew you’re used to, maybe pick up an eye-catching six-pack down the aisle and give it a shot. Or go to Jackie O’s and ask the bartender what he or she would recommend. If you take a chance, maybe you’ll find something worth writing about.
Jared Henderson and Patty Arnold are seniors studying philosophy and biological science, respectively, at Ohio University and columnists for The Post. What beer should be on their radar? Email them at jh350409@ohiou.edu and pa803908@ohiou.edu.
