Former President George W. Bush has recently been caught with a hidden talent: painting.
According to CBS News, Bonnie Flood, the woman who spent a month teaching Bush how to paint, said he was “going to go down in the history books as a great artist.”
Was she lying? Most likely. One painting Bush made of a small dog seems to have been hit by a car, resulting in a lopsided face.
If Flood wasn’t concerned with Bush’s platform before, she sure changed her mind quickly after seeing all the dog paintings.
“I just like dogs. Dogs take my mind off hard things, like housework. I’m just kidding, I have servants for that,” Bush joked with a reporter, thinking he was off the record. He never did quite understand how interviews work.
“Dogs are just so calming. I like playing with them. I like petting them. I like hearing them bark. Woof ... woof ... woof!”
Bush then started barking for about 23 minutes before his wife was called in to calm him down.
“I just don’t understand it,” said Laura Bush. “Ever since the presidency, his mind has turned to dogs. We just can’t seem to get his mind off them. He once even asked to be put on a leash, and not in a sexual way. He said he wanted to understand the prison we put our canine companions in.”
Bush reportedly signs his paintings with the number “43.” But why not his own name? It seems Bush is slowly turning into a dog. That’s the only reason why he wouldn’t be able to write letters anymore. I’m just impressed he chose such a high number.
We all know he lacks the common knowledge of most of the American population. With quotes like, “I’m the commander — see, I don’t need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things,” and, “This foreign-policy stuff is a little frustrating,” it’s easy to see how his simple spirit may feel some special connection to pooches.
But what’s next for the former commander-in-chief?
“This is what we in the medical business like to call ‘Pooch Syndrome,’ ” said Dr. Ronald McDoneralds, former private doctor to Bush. “Mr. Bush has always been a little off. Even during the presidency, I was concerned he was leaning too far near the sidewalk. I warned him to stop being around dogs, but he wouldn’t listen.”
Now it seems Bush is in a downward spiral. The next symptom is digging in trash bins for scraps, panting heavily and finally walking on all fours. We can only hope he seeks help before he hits rock bottom.
Jessica Ensley is a sophomore studying journalism at Ohio University and a columnist for The Post. Should Bush continue his dog art? Email Jessica at je726810@ohiou.edu.
