Pillow Talk,
At the end of last quarter, I started dating a girl who had recently gotten out of a long-term relationship. I thought things were going well because we really got along and had a lot of fun together. I’m not looking for a serious relationship in college so I tried to keep things casual. I went out of town last weekend and when I came back she told me that things were moving too fast. She stopped talking to me for a few days but now she’s texting me again. My friends think she hooked up with her ex while I was gone; could that be true? And should I talk to her again after she blew me off?
Thanks,
Rebound
Rebound,
It’s incredibly possible your new fling “reconnected” with her ex-boyfriend while you were gone and, in a state of confusion and/or guilt, thought she should break things off with you.
However, I’m not this girl and neither are your friends, so if it’s really important for you to know, you need to ask her. I don’t recommend doing that, though — if you were dating as casually as you say, you don’t really have the right to be going around making accusations.
It’s also possible that she’s telling the truth and things were simply moving faster than she liked — perhaps because she just moves at a slower pace than you do, or even because she’s still uncomfortable getting close to someone who isn’t her ex.
As for whether or not you should talk to her again, that depends on how you feel. If you want to see her casually, you should do so. It’s often difficult for people to start dating again after ending a long relationship, so cut her a little slack if you’d still like to see her, but ask her to set the boundaries so there’s no confusion.
With that being said, I suggest you forgive but don’t forget. If you’re interested in having any kind of relationship with this girl, you’ll need to move past this situation — but be aware that she could easily blow you off again.
- Mallory Long is a senior studying journalism and women's studies. Ask her your questions about sex and love in the culture section of thepost.ohiou.edu, at postpillowtalk@gmail.com or follow Pillow Talk on Twitter at @post_pillowtalk.
