As you dig into today's wonderful issue of The Post, you might be wondering to yourself: Why is Andy's column running here? Shouldn't I be reading the staple Wednesday column by Phil Ewing? What is going on? Did someone flip-flop the Tuesday and Wednesday layout by accident?
Unfortunately, that exact brand of incompetence is not the case. My weekly column was postponed at the last minute Monday night due to a small number of Post employees finding my work unacceptable for publication. It was labeled insensitive, lacking a point and not funny. So now, instead of cracking up at another ironic character of my own creation, you are reading the defense of a column that should have never needed explanation.
My original idea for Tuesday's column was me playing a suburban white upper-middle class kid who acts like a gangster. Of course, I didn't specifically write that, but such lines as Tha truf is
you ain't neva seen no playa like me in A-Town much less Nelson Dinin' Hall and You be sayin' tuh yasef
'Damn
how'd dis foo gank a twenty meal plan wit green card option?' made it pretty obvious. I can safely assume if you are under the age of twenty-four, you know several kids like this and could easily relate. It was a light-hearted mocking of a speech, arrogance and bitterness completely misplaced on affluent and privileged white kids. However, the editor-in-chief rejected this article because she thought most readers would not understand it.
And this is the regrettable circumstance under which the editors decide what articles are printed in The Post. Certain people believe that you want all information spoon-fed to you in the most simple and blunt manner. The possibility that you might have to look deeply into my column, maybe even with a second read, is undesirable. For you to understand the concept behind a satirical essay, you might have to slow down and think critically about the text. And here, at a student-run newspaper, thinking is apparently the last thing the editors want.
As you can infer from the excerpts above, my entire column was written in ghetto slang. I was told, This might be offensive to the people who talk that way. Despite her contention otherwise, there was an inexplicit assumption that everyone who talks in ghetto slang would insert themselves in my article. That everyone who talks in ghetto slang must act like a player. That everyone who talks in ghetto slang must think I despise them. And the editors attempted to shield you from even considering such reactions.
First, writing with a specific dialect is a literary device to bring the reader into the environment the writer has created. If I wrote an article about Mississippi and used a southern drawl, would that be offensive? What if I wrote an article about a group of young men from Edinburgh, Scotland and used a Scottish accent? Heck, my story might even be about a few blokes living in poverty and addicted to heroin. Do you honestly think everyone with a Scottish accent would think I am calling them out? Gee, a book like that would never sell, right? Or maybe it would be called Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh.
Second, I make fun of several different types of people in my column. Yet, I consider myself a member of many of these groups. Guess what? I went to the homecoming game. Guess what? Sometimes I go to bars and act obnoxious. Guess what? I have close friends who talk with ghetto slang and I love them with my all heart. My column is jokes. It is supposed to be fun, not a serious indictment of those different from me.
But you are not allowed to draw these conclusions from my work, as a small number of Post employees decide what is funny for you. Despite an editorial policy to never censor an opinion, quite the contrary was done two days ago.
Perhaps I should give up on the idea of subtle humor. Maybe I will start writing columns that are safe and accessible to everyone; then no one has to think. Maybe I will write about how cornhole is a great game because you can hold a beer while you play it. Or how I puked in the microwave after consuming Taco Bell and beer. Then I'll throw a reference to Saved by the Bell. Because that is what a college newspaper should be: alcohol stories and pop culture references. Now that's funny and smart!
So, despite specific compliments about my column from several history professors, the editorial page editor of the Tallahassee Democrat and Ohio University President Robert Glidden, I must be asking too much out of you as readers. If you think I'm funny, please send e-mail to posteditorial@ohiou.edu. And if you think I'm a jerk, send an e-mail to the editor anyway. I really don't care which you choose, because I don't tell people how to think.
- Andrew is a senior specialized studies major. Send him e-mail at sager@ohiou.edu.
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Andy Sager
