Here's the thing about concerts: The shows are for the real fans, not just some folks who have enough money to buy tickets and have heard a few songs on the radio.
Case in point: This past weekend I went to Detroit for an Eminem, 50 cent, and Missy Elliot concert. It was scheduled to be Em's only North American concert this summer, so I was excited. Of course, I am a poor individual (I mean financially; on a moral scale I think that I am a neat guy), so the $75 dollar ticket price hit me hard. Nevertheless, I saved up and bought a ticket.
After putting away money for months to save up for the hotel room, gas, prostitutes-- I mean potential dates to the concert-- I was ready. Downtown Detroit is one of the toughest neighborhoods around, and I was expecting a rowdy concert--how wrong I was.
Sipping my free water at dinner before the show I eavesdropped on a conversation at the next table. There were a man who could have been my father (Balding, glasses, lost in the years between 40-50) and a woman of a similar age sharing a bottle of red wine. The woman dropped my jaw when she told her husband, "You know, I don't really even know anything about this Missy Elliot or 50 cents, so I am not too interested in getting there real early."
I stared at her. I replayed what she said in my mind and decided I must have had too many free waters. Politely, I asked her to clear up the situation. "I'm sorry," I said. "But you aren't going to my Eminem concert are you?" She replied that they were, and that they had floor seats-- that had only cost $300 each.
Now, I'm not allowed to swear here, so let's go over this calmly. First off, it is 50 cent, there is no s. Secondly, I hate these people. I saved all my money to sit where I could see the top of Eminem's head, and these people were sitting where they could count the fat roles on Bazaar's stomach (not that they knew who Bazaar was).
Once I got to the show I figured my anger would dissipate. So, quite naturally, I was perturbed when I arrived at my seat to find three women, all in their thirties, sitting next to me. What made it even better was that one was a ninth grade physical education instructor. That's right, the same woman who taught you to take guard against the dangers of S.T.I.'s and marijuana in ninth grade is now sitting right next to you cheering for rhymes about drugged up sex with strangers.
I decided to ignore the crowd base and just enjoy the show. If these people were really fans, I thought I should leave it alone. When Eminem finally came out, the crowd went nuts--for a minute. The crowd stayed on its feet for all of the 8 Mile soundtrack songs (yahoo for pop culture), but once Em broke into songs from his first album and his underground music, people just stared at him. These were the songs that I had paid my money to see, and the accountant-looking guy behind me was just staring off into space. "Gosh," he said. " I was hoping he would just play the 8 Mile stuff and that real slim shady song."
Listen: people like this do not belong at an Eminem concert. Last year everyone talked about how he poisoned people's minds and how hateful he is. Now he has a popular movie, and everybody wants to be a fan. Eminem belongs to the people who didn't wait for him to be socially acceptable, not to some accountant who thinks he's really neato. So please, just because you may be able to afford it, do not go to a concert if you spend half your time waiting for some pop-hit to be played.
--Cottrill is a junior English major who only likes the 8 Mile soundtrack and that song about the real slim shady. Send him an e-mail at michael.cottrill@ohiou.edu
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Mike Cottrill
